What a Difference a Day Makes
by sunburntdaisy
Summary: What if Christy and Neil had expressed a little of their attraction prior to Margaret's appearance on the scene? How would things have been different if they couldn't just pretend like there was nothing between them?
1. Variation on 'Amazing Grace'

Note – Bolded text is directly transcribed from the CBS episode. Italicized text summarizes events.

A Variation on the episode, 'Amazing Grace':

"**Did Miss Hattie ever marry?" Christy balanced a dish over the flames.**

"**She married Timothy McKay; gave him three beautiful children. They all died of Typhus."**

"**She lost everyone?"**

"**It was a long time ago; she wouldn't want your pity." Neil helped himself to dinner. "Tastes good – sure you wouldn't want some?"**

"**No, they're expecting me back at the mission."**

"**I'll ride you back shortly. You're not going to argue and insist you can do it by yourself are you?"**

**She handed him a fork. "It's getting dark soon. I'm on the side of the mountain. Whatever you think of me, Doctor, I'm not a fool."**

"**I've never thought that."** He smiled, lingering but a moment before returning to his seat.

Wondering at his good mood, Christy brushed off her hands and went to join him, sitting opposite at the small table.

Neil ate and, in the companionable silence, Christy's mind wandered. She could hear the river rushing by and it made her think of Neil's loss, his wife's drowning, and then of Miss Hattie's loss, of all her family.

"Everything alright?" Neil licked his fingers with a cheeky, appreciative smile.

"Oh," Christy shook herself out of reverie, "I was just thinking."

"Careful."

She smiled, "About Miss Hattie's family, and yours, and well, I suppose it's a lot easier for some – for me – to think there's a good, loving God out there, someplace – I who've suffered nothing more than..." She sighed.

He paused before answering. "I suppose. And yet Hattie believes it all."

"I wonder if I would – if I could – if..."

"I hope to god you never have to find out."

"But you question me – make me think about what I believe."

"Maybe I just like arguing with you."

"I've no doubt you do."

He laughed, then was quiet. "To tell the truth, it wasn't hardship that made me doubt Him. The suffering I see only reinforces that which I came to think the more I learned about science."

Christy thought for a moment, then asked, "So, because something can't be explained and proved, it just can't be?"

He shook his head, "There's plenty that science can't explain or prove but where it can I don't, I can't just discard what I know and..." he sighed. "I do like arguing with you but we were being so well behaved today."

She laughed. "Okay, but what about all those mysteries."

"Science will catch up one day."

"Really?" She shook her head. "I hope not. They're the best bit. I mean, of course I hope we find the answers and remedies to illness, but some things just can't be explained, and it's wonderful."

Neil stood and took his plate back to the bench. "I better get you home."

Christy stood by the river and watched the moonlight reflecting off the rippling water. Neil prepared Charlie for their ride to the Mission. When he was ready he stopped a few feet from her and watched her.

"It seems logical to me that I hold tight to the things I'm sure of, rather than to something uncertain."

She turned to him. "Have you never been certain of something that wasn't explained and proved?"

"I thought I was, but I was wrong."

She nodded. "I wish you would try again. That's where the magic is – something that makes your heart soar – and don't tell me it's because of a chemical in my brain."

He laughed and touched his fingertips to her hair. "It is." His palm grazed her cheek.

"See? Now you've ruined the magic." Her smile wavered, watching his expression, so full of joy, and something else. He was so close; she could just... Then she was kissing him.

He was pulling her close, kissing her back, uninhibited for a moment, and then he broke away, watching her, a tentative smile playing on his lips. "I didn't mean to..."

"Me niether." She looked up at him, uncertain, surprised. Had she initiated that, or had he?

"I think you carried your point." He smiled.

She laughed and stepped away, stroking Charlie's neck for something to do with her hands. "What do we do now?"

"I have no idea."

She was reassured to find as much uncertainty in his voice as she was feeling. She tried to keep the mood light. "I think the cat's out of the bag that you might have kissed a girl before."

"It's been a while. And surely you-"

"I've been kissed before." She dared to look at him again and found his eyes on her. "Not like that, but..."

"But?"

"Nothing."

"We should take some time to think,"

She nodded, "And pray."

He smiled, "Sure."

"Giving in so easy?"

"Couldn't hurt, could it? Plus, I already lost an argument tonight."

"I think it's too late for us to try being well behaved." She teased.

"I should probably take you back to the Mission."

She nodded, glad of the deepening dusk that hid her blushing at his every touch as he lifted her up behind him on the horse. The night air was chilling and she was all too aware of Neil's warmth.

Both were relieved to find no one out watching for Christy's arrival. She slid off the horse without waiting for Neil to dismount and assist her.

"I'd better go right in – they might be worried."

"It'd be easier not to have to explain."

She nodded in agreement.

"Good night." he let his eyes linger indulgently as she smiled up at him before turning away and walking up the steps and into the warm light of the mission house.

She had difficulty following the conversation that evening and went up to her room early. Finally alone, she indulged in remembering their kiss, still uncertain who'd started it – not that it mattered.

Christy descended the stairs the next morning, far from well-rested, but wide-awake and full of anticipation. **Their visitor, Mr Harland, was playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and, though undoubtedly a beautiful piece of music, it seemed to clash entirely with her mood. He complained of having to breakfast alone, and of Ruby Mae's cooking. She watched him quizically, wondering at his strangeness.**

**She turned at a footstep, hoping to see Miss Alice, and found another stranger in her home. Miss Alice was right behind the beautiful, dark-haired woman.**

"**Miss Huddleston, this is my daughter, Margaret."**

Christy stared blankly, not understanding. As the pieces started falling into place, her mind tumbled, unable to settle on a coherent thought. Margaret moved over to the piano and spoke words but they meant nothing to Christy.

"**And you must be the teacher?"**

Slowly Christy nodded, and good breeding, drummed into her from a young age, took over.** "I'm pleased to meet you." She said. Mother would be so proud. But she couldn't keep it up. She turned back to Miss Alice, "I don't understand."**

**Margaret spoke up, "Oh, it's a terribly long story but I'm sure mother will catch you up."**

**Christy watched Alice's face fall then looked back to Margaret.**

"**God, you're so young. How do they expect someone to teach about life when you haven't even lived it?"**

Christy's mind was still whirring. It did not register that she should reply to Margaret's veiled barb.

**Miss Alice stepped in. "The children here are extremely fond of Miss Huddleston, and she of them."**

Margaret kept talking but Christy's mind had finally settled on a thought and she didn't hear another word.

"**Has anybody sent for your husband?" He would be so hurt. She wanted to protect him from this revelation, but he must be informed, and soon.**

"**I'll look after my own affairs thank you." The bitter smoke that escaped her lips wove into her words, "I'm sure you'll have your hands full with the children."**

**Mr Harland began playing again. The tune seemed more appropriate now.**

**Christy turned to Miss Alice, only to watch her turn away.**

Fortunately, Christy did have her hands full with the children. Unfortunately, her efforts to keep her mind off Neil, and what was coming to him, were thwarted by the children's fascination with Margaret. She reassured Little Burl Allen that there was no such thing as ghosts, all the while wishing such an explanation for Margaret's presence was even possible. Chastising herself for such ungracious thoughts, she doggedly changed the subject and ploughed on with lessons despite the childrens' efforts to return the subject to gossip and ghost stories.

She wasn't sure if she was glad of it, but she'd promised to introduce Mr Harland to Miss Hattie. David was taking the afternoon's lessons so Christy returned to the mission to ready herself, descending from her room at the last moment so as to avoid spending any time at all in the company of Margaret.

She hadn't seen Neil since saying goodnight. The soft smile on his lips and moonlight dancing in his eyes were a world away from the expression on his face when he rode up to the mission.

He didn't look at Christy, only demanded, **"Where is she?"** Someone must have told him. He threw himself off his horse.

**Margaret actually looked remorseful. "I know this must be a shock to you-"**

**He cut her off. "Don't you dare."**

Christy couldn't tear her eyes away and yet watching felt like an intrusion.

**Neil climbed the steps and seemed to restrain himself from shaking Margarent. "Only you could do something this hateful. You are dead to me woman."**

"**Neil," Margaret pleaded.**

"**You are dead." He shouted and turned away, mounting his horse and tearing off, at full gallop before he was out of sight.**

Mr Harland started them moving again but thankfully didn't feel the need to converse. Christy gave directions as briefly as necessary and powerlessly wallowed in the cruel replay of events that had taken over her thoughts. The scenes from that morning and the confrontation on the steps of the mission, juxtaposed so shockingly with the previous evening. She inhaled sharply on recognizing the truth of it – she'd kissed a married man. She replayed the thought in her mind as if the punishment were her penance: Neil was married and she'd kissed him. Neil was married.

Neil was... she hated to think where he might be, what he might be doing, how he might cope with this. She knew him well enough to know that liquor was not out of the question. In fact it seemed like a pretty good answer to the question, even to Christy's mind. How could this have happened?

Christy willed herself to be distracted by Hattie's music, but it didn't work for long. She sang of beauty and romance and heartbreak. Not even the happy songs could free Christy of the hopelessness that weighed on her chest.

Of course she returned to the mission with Mr Harland, but she couldn't bare to go inside and play nice. And she was worried about Neil. "Could you tell Miss Alice I wanted to walk alittle? I'll be back for supper."

Mr Harland agreed and Christy forced herself not to run till she was out of sight.

She took the stairs to his porch, shaking off images from the previous evening, and let herself into his cabin, all the while calling out to him.

"**It's me, Christy." **She felt foolish, introducing herself to his empty cabin. No, he was here. **He was hiding, but he was here. "Are you in there?"**

She went to the door, not wanting to invade his privacy, but...

"**I'm worried about you."**

No reply. What if he'd injured himself, or drunk himself senseless?

**She tried the door, rattled it, letting out some of her pent up anger on the innocent latch.**

"**Please, open the door, I know you're in there."** She struggled to keep the emotion from her voice. God, what was she doing? She shouldn't be here – but he shouldn't be alone.

"**I just want to talk to you."**

**She waited then knocked again.**

**Glass smashed.**

"**Neil!" She listened for some sign he was okay. "I know you're upset, but..."** the thing she was about to say seemed so meaningless, hollow words that offered no real comfort or hope. **"Please just let me know you're alright."**

Nothing.

She leaned back against the door and waited. She couldn't bare to go back to the mission. She slumped down on the floor, waiting on some idea of what to do next, some shred of resolve to do what she must: return to the mission.

"I can't, Christy." His voice was quiet and close. He must be sitting on the other side of the door. "Not now."

"You don't have to do anything." She so wanted to comfort him.

It could have been a minute or ten later that he spoke again. "I'm so sorry – last night – I didn't know."

"I know. I'm at least as much to blame as you."

"No."

She hated to think that she might be making it worse for him, adding guilt to the miriad of burdens he was baring. "Don't give it another thought."

She heard him scoff. A while later he spoke again. "You shouldn't be here, Christy."

"I had to make sure you were alright."

He mumbled something.

"What was that?"

She heard him stand and unlatch the door, and she scrambled away, getting to her feet. There on the bench was the mess she'd left from making dinner the previous evening.

"I said, what a contrast. You're first thought is for someone else and she..."

Christy turned to him. He was flushed and his eyes bloodshot. "You're not hurt?"

He shook his head. "Only a broken bottle."

"You want me to clean it up?"

He turned away.

"Sorry, I'm making it worse aren't I?" She moved toward the door, pausing when he spoke.

"When I woke up this morning I thought... seems like a year ago."

She nodded but couldn't bare to look at him knowing she had to walk away, and soon. It was getting dark.

"I wish I could go back and have last night over and over again, and never wake up this morning."

"I have to go." Her voice came out in little more than a whisper.

Certain she was alone, she let her tears flow. She indulged in every groan of frustration and pumped, clenched fist her heart desired, knowing that she must hold it all in as soon as she was in sight of the Mission.

Passing the school house, almost composed, she remembered the preparations she still needed to do for tomorrow's lessons. She entered to find Miss Alice, head bowed, sitting at a desk.

"Miss Alice."

She lifted her head. "Good evening Christy."

In the absence of Neil, Christy suddenly became aware of the other half of this picture – Miss Alice must be overjoyed. Her daughter was alive.

"**Does thee want to hear the story? It has a happy ending."**

Perhaps she was in part punishing herself, but she really did want to understand, as much as she could. **"Yes. Please."**

**Miss Alice told of a spoiled child, a willful young woman. Christy could identify with such characteristics and yet she couldn't understand one key element - **

"**To let you both think she was dead?"**

**Miss Alice clearly blamed herself for giving up hope, but Margaret had intended they do just that. It occurred to Christy that Miss Alice was trying to forgive her daughter. She shook her head in wonderment.**

"**We have been given another chance," Miss Alice looked up to the altar, "And this time..." her hope was clear.**

Christy watched her dear friend and hoped she would not be hurt again.

Christy buried herself in her work, planning lessons in great detail, undertaking ambitious projects and catching up on all her marking. If she was a little impatient with her students, no one called her out on it. She was anti-social at the mission, but no one mentioned that either. She worked at the school house till she was late for supper, and then took her supper with her to her room, where she worked till she was falling asleep at her desk.

One afternoon, while she was packing things away, she saw Neil, riding up to the mission. She wanted to see him and dreaded it at once. But he didn't come to her. She heard his departure and wouldn't indulge in watching him leave.

A short while later, Miss Alice walked up the school house steps and paused in the doorway. "Thou art here – I thought..." She walked up the aisle to Christy's desk, carrying a heavy text book. "Neil left this for thee at the mission. I assumed he had stopped here first and could not find thee."

"He did not."

"Is everything alright?"

"Of course." Christy took the offered book, _Grey's Anatomy_, "We certainly don't have this one. Thank you."

"Thank Neil."

"I will." She tried to hold Miss Alice's gaze but faltered, turning back to her work.

"Will thee be late for supper?"

"No. I'll be there."

Miss Alice soon left.

_Meanwhile, Neil and Margaret talk... but they don't resolve things so well. Neil is angrier, knowing that he might have had a shot with Christy if it weren't for Margaret._

So, Miss Alice would go with Margaret, seeking treatment for her ailment. No one else knew yet and so Christy and Miss Alice walked over to the singing as if there was nothing unusual. They sang and Christy was surprised to find that the music did lift her spirits.

**David stood behind her and at one point put a hand to her shoulder. **The gesture may have been meant kindly, but it felt proprietary and wrong. She could hardly shake him off without hurting him, and in front of all these people? She stood stock still.

And then some one walked out. She turned. Seeing it was Miss Alice, she followed. The loss of David's touch was a strange kind of relief. This thought was forgotten when she saw Alice fall to her knees.

**Christy ran, and Alice straightened, hearing her approach. She reached out to the younger woman and burried her head against her belly.**

**The picture became clear. Margaret was gone. Again. **Now what? They could only wait and wonder. She might return. She might never return. They had mourned her once, and now they were in a cruel kind of limbo, not knowing if they should mourn her again.

Christy wondered how Alice could forgive, and yet she knew that was the only answer, the only way forward. Talk about the narrow road: what could be more difficult?

On Sunday night Christy looked over her plan for the following week. It was well thought-out and detailed, and she felt confident the week would go as smooth as ever a week went teaching over seventy children, in every grade, in one room. She ran her eyes over each day, checking that she was covering everything, and then stopped. Neil was to take a science lesson on Tuesday – in fact they'd intended every Tuesday, after the dinner break. She did not know what he'd planned, certainly couldn't be sure he would remember, and yet it seemed rude to plan something else without his say so.

On monday, after school was out, she bit the bullet and saddled up Prince. There was no answer when she knocked at Neil's cabin door. She called out and opened the door. He'd tidied up – the only thing out of place was his study door, which hung ajar.

"Neil?"

"Just a minute." He sounded panicked.

"It's just me," she stepped up to the threshold, wanting to reassure, knowing how he didn't want to explain his research to anyone and everyone.

"Oh. Christy." He took a step back. "Is everyone alright?"

"Yes. Everyone's fine. I just wanted to check we were still on for your lesson tomorrow – of course it's fine if you want to postpone, I just wanted to check."

The expression on his face gave him away. "I'd clean forgotten."

"That's fine."

"No, I did plan something. I was going to teach them about blood cells and have them run around and then take their pulse – explain how the cells transport oxygen and energy to the muscles." He sat down, his desk chair facing her.

"Sounds wonderful."

"I could use the distraction."

"If you're sure."

"I'm not ill, Christy, I don't need bedrest to recouperate."

"Neither do you need seventy two pairs of curious eyes and a few careless tongues trying to change the topic to your personal life."

He smiled. "They are insatiable, but I think I can handle the children."

She held up her hands in acquiesence, glad to see him smiling. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then."

He nodded and watched her leave.

She stopped and turned back, "Oh, and thank you for the book."

"No problem."


	2. Variation on 'The Sweetest Gift'

A Variation on the episode, "The Sweetest Gift"...

_Christy, eager to prove to herself and everyone else that there is nothing noteworthy abou ther relationship with Neil, does not invite him to dinner at the mission._

_David succeeds in asking William Huddleston if he can court Christy – who warns that she is very young, but that he should really speak to Christy about it as she has always known her own mind._

_Mr Huddleston brings it up with Christy that night..._

**Christy listed off all the reading she needed to do.**

"**I never realised."**

"**Neither did I before I came here."**

**He looked at her with wonder, "Before you came here you hardly ever wore your hair up."**

**She looked in the glass, "Well it just seemed more teacherly this way."**

"**It is very grown up, as you are. I can understand how your minister is so taken."**

"**Well, I'm not too grown up to miss you."**

"**I miss you too."**

**Christy told him of all the things she missed.**

"**You may be grown up but you're still my little miss aren't you?"** he touched his thumb to her cheek. "You won't rush into anything will you?"

"What do you mean? What did David say to you?"

"Nothing particularly surprising. I could have had some fun with him, but I felt rather sorry for him."

"Why is that?"

He cocked his head to one side. "Because young mens' hearts break just as badly as womens'."

"I haven't made any decisions yet."

Her father nodded, his knowing expression frustrating her no end. He kissed her forehead and said good night.

Later in the episode...

_Her father finds her in the school house after she's finally convinced Mrs O'Teale to take a pair of shoes for Mountie. She rails off all the dreams and hopes for the cove but her father interrupts her – her mother was disappointed she would not come home for Thanksgiving._

"**I can't leave," she shook her head, begging her beloved father to understand. "Some of our neighbours don't know where their next meal's coming from, and the children don't have a lunch to bring to school."**

**He was so clearly disappointed.**

"**I can't come home right now. I'm sorry."**

"**I'm not sure your mother will understand."**

"**Then I'll write to her. Maybe I'll be home for Christmas."**

"**Christy, listen to me. Maybe you shouldn't get so involved in this place, with these people."**

"**But I want to be involved, that's why I'm here."**

"**Don't misunderstand. They're good people, and Miss Alice is a wonder, but life is so hard here; I don't want you to be hurt by it, or disappointed.** I can see that you struggle."

"**The children never disappoint me. They lift me up.** And life is hard – but there is hardship and pain everywhere, and I cannot hide from hurt my whole life – that's no life."

"Your mother only wants what's best for you."

"I know, and some days I might even agree with her about what that is – but not most days. Most days... the children make every harship worthwhile. That's what I have to make mother see."

**Her father insisted they phone rather than write a letter.**

_The story continues as per the television episode – Christy's father suffers a stroke and after initial diagnosis Neil leaves to tend another patient. Christy's mother arrives with their family doctor and dismisses Neil without a second thought. _

_Neil confronts their family doctor as he is leaving. Mrs Huddleston still refuses to listen to him. Christy watches the exchange between them, then storms off. Neil walks in the opposite direction..._

As soon as she was surrounded by trees she felt foolish – having a tantrum wasn't going to help her father, and neither was his doctor, but maybe Neil could. What was there to lose? She found him at the stables, roughly adjusting Charlie's reigns.

"What did you mean when you said 'new treatements'?"

"I didn't think my-"

She interrupted him, "**I'm** asking you. I'll convince my mother – this is too important."

He nodded once and started to explain how the brain could be retrained, and how with physical therapy, stroke patients could be taught to walk and move independently. "It's not my area of expertise but I can talk to a friend who's had some success in this field."

"Thank you."

"Of course." He smiled, "I can't promise anything but you're right not to give up."

"I feel so helpless. It's not as if I understand any of this, or can help in any way."

"And yet here you are. You don't give up, do you?"

She looked up at him, wondering what he was referring to exactly.

"Your faith isn't deserting you now is it?"

She looked up at him, uncertain. "It's so hard."

He reached out and touched her arm. She had to resist the pull to go to him, find comfort in those arms. She pulled away, crossing her arms resolutely.

"Thank you. I should..." She turned to the door and only lingered for a moment before leaving.

_As in the episode, Christy confronts her mother, demanding she let Doctor MacNeil see her father. Her mother tells her she doesn't understand, she's still a girl. Christy insists she's not – nearly twenty! Coping fine living away from her family._

**Her mother's expression was skeptical. "Are you? Keeping one man dangling when you obviously have feelings for another?"**

**She'd tried to be guarded but her mother had picked up on it. "Doctor MacNeil is my friend. I respect his skill and dedication. That is all." She wanted to say more but feared her defence would have the opposite effect to the one she intended.**

"**He could be the best country doctor in the world – but he's still a country doctor."**

"**By choice. He went to a fine medical school in scotland. He could have gone to any big city and probably have been rich and famous. But he chose to practise here – because he loves these people. Mama, please. You have to let me send for him. What harm could it do?"**

"**It could break your father's heart."**

"No, we'll explain. Neil will tell him not to get his hopes up."

"Christy, your judgement is clouded by your feelings."

"We have to try. He said something about physical therapy and training the healthy parts of Daddy's brain to take over the jobs of the other parts – I don't understand, but I've seen Doctor MacNeil perform the most difficult... I believe in him and you should to."

"I don't even know him."

"But you know me."

"Yes, I do. And once you get an idea in your head you'll never let it go until-"

"I'm not the same little girl who left home a year ago." Christy sighed, seeing this was going nowhere. "I have work to do."

_Christy's mother makes amends and goes with Christy to the O'Teale's – a great success in the end, as she helps Christy convince Mrs O'Teale to take some charity. Then Neil show's up and Becky O'Teale thanks hims for healing her Tracoma... and Mrs Huddleston is won over – gives her permission for him to see Mr Huddleston._

**Neil reassured them all and Christy looked on. There was hope. He would heal. But her joy was so tainted by the fact she must leave Cutter Gap. **Watching Neil work, listening to him, even being teased by him – especially that – made it hard to be the happy, dutiful daughter she needed to be. **She stepped out onto the balcony, looking out at the beloved mountains**, a view that had been a comfort so many times. Now it must be savoured – she would leave in a few days, possibly for good.

**Neil followed her out, obviously surprised by the emotions clearly etched into her features.**

"**Why do you look so sad?"**

"**I have to go back to Ashville. My mother needs me."**

"**I know. Alice told me."**

She looked to him, wondering what he really thought, really felt, and then he began to tell her and she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it.

"**You've done a lot of good here Christy. I know we've had our differences from time to time, but I've got to give credit where it's due."**

This was goodbye. He wasn't expecting her to return – he was saying his piece. She couldn't bare to think this might be one of their last conversations. He was trying to comfort her and she was being irrational – this wasn't really important. Her father's health, and the people of the cove was what mattered. "I'm fine." She insisted, knowing she wasn't fooling him for a moment. He reached out to put an arm around her but restrained himself, sighing in frustration. "It's for the best. **All that matters now is that my father gets better, and the people of the cove have enough to get by this winter.**" She watched him struggling. "And I won't be here, always reminding you of her. Maybe..."

A flash of something crossed his face and she feared she'd said too much.

"Don't think that. Nothing will be better here with you gone. Your place is with your family, I understand that, but don't tell yourself I'm better off – that any of us are better off without you. That'll never be true."

His eyes bore into hers, indignant and pleading.

She tentatively reached over to where his hand rested on the railing and placed hers over it. "Thank you." Her voice broke on the words and she returned to her parents.

_The story continues just like in the television episode – Christy's father improves greatly over a short period of time and her mother gives her permission for Christy to stay in Cutter Gap._


	3. Variation on 'To Have and To Hold'

A Variation on the episode, 'To Have and To Hold':

**Christy jogged down to the lake, apologising for running late. David was resplendant in suit and tie. There was no denying he was handsome. He escorted her to the table he'd laid out and offered her tea.**

"**David, this is lovely."**

"**I wanted to do it properly. Back in Ashville I'm sure you had hundreds of boys swarming around."**

"**Not quite that many."**

"**Well, a lot, I'll bet. And I'm sure they knew more about," he hesitated, "courting than I do."**

"**Courting?" She felt a little panicked, but charmed at the same time. "Is that what this is?"**

"**That is... yes." he moved to sit beside her.**

She felt her pulse race but it wasn't the pleasant exhilaration of... no, she mustn't think of that now.

"**Tonight is a very special night, because..." he pulled a bundle from his pocket and began undoing the ribbon tying it together. "It belonged to my grandmother and before her my great grandmother. We shouldn't value worldly things, but..." He revealed an engagement ring.**

"**David, it's beautiful." She felt herself being swept away. She could just let herself be drawn in. David was so easy. There were no obstacles here.**

"**It's a real emerald. You know why I want you to wear it." He moved onto his knees.**

"**Oh David." **She felt terrible guilt. Everything had gone wrong. She couldn't say yes and the alternative would wound him so badly. "I can't..."

"You don't have to answer right away." He insisted.

It was an escape and she took it. But there was no escaping her own thoughts and the subject of marriage seemed to keep coming up, as if she was being punished for her indecision.

**Ruby Mae had caught her looking at the ring and seemed to be discussing the matter with her friends.**

**Christy stopped her but the girls turned their giggling curiosity on her. "Tell us about marriage."**

"**Well, what do you want to know?" She wondered where this might lead.**

"**How to be a good wife."**

**She smiled at their cheekiness. "It's more than what you're thinking. Look at the good wives you know – like your mother Zadie. Have you ever seen anyone who cares more for her children or anyone who works harder?"**

"**No Ma'am." **

Zadie was so sweet and innocent. Christy wondered when it got so complicated. She'd insisted to her parents, just a few weeks ago, that she was a grown woman, but now she just felt old, disenchanted.

"**It's fine to fall in love with a boy, and get married, to kiss and tell each other sweet things. But marriage is a lifetime commitment. It takes two people who truly respect eachother."** She had to tell David 'no', she realised.

"**Couldn't agree more." Neil interrupted, approaching the group from behind.**

**They all spun around. Christy felt like her head kept spinning after her feet stopped. "Hello doctor."**

**The girls seemed to fall away, undoubtedly returnng to their speculation about 'preacher and teacher'.**

**Neil walked beside her, "I've just come by to check on Lundy. Interesting talk you're having. What brought up the subject of marriage?"**

"**I don't believe I recall." She stopped at the mission steps.**

"**Well don't let the discussion get too serious."**

Why did she get the feeling he was saying more than he was... saying.

"**I'm going to Low Gap for a few days; will you miss me?"**

She desperately tried to keep her confusion from showing on her face. Yes, yes she would. But she shouldn't. Neil was married – come to think of it, how dare he ask such a question. It was cruel and unlike him.

"**I mean," he faltered, "you'll have to take care of Lundy on your own. Do you think you'll manage?"**

"Yes." Her mouth was dry, "We'll be fine." She turned and went inside, leaving him there.

_And things progress as in the actual episode – Miss Ida's pen pal shows up, hoping to marry her. David refuses his consent and Christy quarrels with him about it. Eventually she resolves to return his ring, to stop leaving him dangling. He quotes poetry at her, flatters her._

He took her hands, held them to his lips.

She felt terrible. **"David, I'm sorry for yelling at you last night."**

"**No, I'm sorry."**

**She knew he was going to kiss her and let it happen. **There was something there but the comparison was inevitable. She was breathless with panic, not the joy and wonder that had filled her senses when Neil – she shouldn't think of it. She pulled away. "I'm sorry. I can't."

"I understand."

"No, I mean..." she sighed and turned away, pulling his ring from her pocket. "I can't take this." She offered it back to him. "I'm sorry David, I just can't marry you."

He stared at the ring in her outstretched hand.

"Can I ask why not?"

"Because it's a lifetime commitment and it would be foolish to go anywhere near it without being completely sure."

"You're not sure yet? There's no hurry."

"David..."

"You're right – we haven't known eachother very long. My certainty is, well, certain." He smiled at his own bumbling. "Take as much time as you need." he closed her fingers over the ring and held her hand.

She shook her head and forced him to take it back. "I care about you David. I don't want to hurt you or lead you on to think that one day we will..."

"So you're certain you never will?" He was getting angry.

She braced herself. "Of course not. I can't predict the future. But I don't believe so, David, no."

He stuffed the ring in his pocket. "Fine." he turned and walked away.

She watched him go and then sat down in the long grass, wanting to hide from the world. She did a poor job of it, as Miss Alice found her only ten minutes later.

"Is everything alright?"

Christy turned to her and took her offered hand, standing up and brushing off her skirt.

"Does thee wish to be alone?"

Christy shook her head. "Miss Alice, I don't know what to do."

"This is not the first, or the last time, thee will disagree with David. Thee will mend it."

"He told you?"

"He didn't have to."

"I think I broke his heart."

Miss Alice looked at her quizically. "What happened?"

"He proposed."

Her surprise was evident. "And you refused him."

Christy nodded and looked away, ashamed. "It's just so soon, and I'm too young to get married, and..." How she wanted to tell her all the reasons. "I care for him and the last thing I want to do is hurt him, but I just don't think I could ever love him the way you should if you're thinking of marrying someone."

"Then you have done the right thing."

"I hope so but how can I be sure? I do feel something for him but it doesn't seem like enough."

"Perhaps your expectations are unrealistic."

Christy turned away. The only way she knew to expect more was because she'd felt more for someone else – but Miss Alice couldn't know that.

"No, I think thou art right to trust thine own heart. It is kinder, though it is hard, to tell him the truth. David is young, in some ways even reckless. He will recover, and sooner for an incisive answer from you."

Christy nodded.

Miss Alice embraced her, kissed her forehead.


	4. Variation on 'Ghost Story'

_The episode 'The Hunt' would be the same, I think, excepting a little more coldness between David and Christy, and perhaps a little less adamance on David's part that he's fallen in love with the cove, and that only his 12 year old heart loves Cecil. He might even try to make Christy jealous, but of course fails. She is only relieved from some of her guilt at hurting him. _

_'A Man's Reach' also follows the story of the television show. In 'Ghost Story' we diverge from the path when Christy and Neil walk, discussing the childrens' unshakable belief in ghost stories._

"**I tried to show them that there's no truth to Granny's story." Christy once again found herself going to Neil with her troubles.**

"**Ah, but there is. There's truth to that story just like there are to a lot of their beliefs."**

"**Where's the truth in sprinkling salt to keep away evil spirits?"**

"**To their way of thinking, if salt preserves food, why shouldn't it preserve people?" **

"**Well here's one you can't approach scientifically: fence worms."**

"**Alright," he bent and picked up a stick from the ground, "If you build a fence at the wrong time of the year, the ground moves, in the thaw or the freeze, creating a fence worm." He kept walking and she skipped to keep up.**

"**I forget, you have an answer for everything."**

"**No. that's you."**

She laughed, "We just go round in circles, don't we Doctor, arguing the same thing. Only this time you're on the side of unfounded belief and I'm arguing logic."

"Well, your beliefs aren't entirely unfounded – and another thing: I don't actually believe the ghost story – I'm just trying to explain why others do."

"Okay."

He stopped walking, **"You're a student of history. That ghost story's got an historical basis. A hundred and fifty years ago a rumor made its way over from scotland that the O'Teale's had betrayed their very own clan."**

"**The O'Teale's? Is that why they're outcasts?"**

"**Well, according to the rumor they sold out some of Bonnie Prince Charlie's lads for the price on their heads. Now, betrayal of your clan is the worst possible sin imaginable. So, the evil betrayers left the cove to hide."**

"**But they must've come back – there are still O'Teales here."**

**He nodded and kept walking, "Interesting isn't it. That's why there must be some truth to it."**

"**I can't believe the O'Teales are shunned for something their distant relative might have done hundreds of years ago."**

"**It's not quite that simple, but that's the way you like to see everything, isn't it? Black and white."**

"**Then educate me doctor, since that's the way you like things to be."**

"**Well, the O'Teales have got themselves to blame – they keep to themselves, and that Nathan, he's an ogre even by cove standards."**

"**But if we could disprove this silly story then maybe we could change the way cove people feel about them."**

"**Maybe."**

They walked on again. In her own mind, Christy resolved to try and disprove the story, thinking back over Neil's story, looking for clues. "You said my beliefs weren't entirely unfounded."

"Ah, I was hoping you hadn't noticed."

She wanted him to admit it, to explain what he meant. "So?"

"Did you think they were?"

"Of course not."

His silence was infuriating. She wanted to rile him like he riled her.

"But they're just like this ghost story? Is that what you're saying?"

"I didn't say that."

She sighed. "I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"Don't you want to believe that you're not alone in your work, that it doesn't all rest on your shoulders?"

"I can't wish something into being. I can't just believe it because it'd be nice if it were true. I'm far too old for fairy tales."

"You tell them pretty well."

"I've had years and years of practise."

They were approaching the mission. David was on the porch and Christy didn't want to add to the tension between them by brandishing her friendship with Neil in front of him.


	5. Variation on 'Echoes'

_In the episode "Echoes", David and Neil's conversation would obviously go a little differently..._

"**This tonic is really something." David lifted his tea cup, clunking it to Neil's tin cup. "Someone ought to bottle it."**

"**That's a good idea." Neil was laughing at the preacher on the inside, restraining himself to a grin on the outside.**

"**Well," David patted Neil on the back in thanks, "I might as well get back to work Doctor." He stood, stumbled, and returned to his seat. "Isn't that odd?"**

"**Do you realise, Grantland, that this is the longest conversation we've ever had?"**

"**I hate to admit this, but I'm enjoying it."**

**Neil stood to poor himself another cup of tonic. "It's a pity we can't be friends. Even though we disagree all the time, we do have two things in common: we're both dedicated to our work and immovable in our beliefs." He clunked his cup to David's again and then sat back down.**

"**There's a third thing, Doctor: Our appreciation of a certain young woman.."**

**Neil paused, then rememberd how much whiskey David had drunk, and relaxed.**

"**Come on Doctor, I know you're married, but deep down inside, you find Christy intriguing."**

"**Of course I do. I find anyone devoted to the cove intriguing." Whew. Good answer.**

"**It isn't nice to lie to a man of the cloth Doctor." **David downed the last of his cup and clapped Neil on the back again. "No matter, we neither of us can have her. Not yet, anyway. But, just as long as we can keep her in Cutter gap, one of us might have a shot."

"Maybe she'd be better off leaving."

"Wash your mouth out – with this." David lifted the teapot and refilled their cups.


	6. Variation on 'The Lie'

_A variation on the episode, 'The Lie':_

She walked without thinking where, her mind occupied with other thoughts. She stopped at the river and looked up at the sky. There was usually a full sky of stars above them but tonight the moon was so bright that she could barely see the stars.

"**Christy, what are you doing here?" A familiar voice broke her reverie.**

She fumbled her words, looking up at him. She was unprepared for a conversation with him, her emotions too close to the surface this night. **"I didn't realise I'd gone so far." But she was glad to see him. It had been a while since they'd talked. "My mind was spinning, I needed a walk, so I just followed the moon."**

**His face looked haunted. He turned to look at the moon and his features softened. "She's comforting, isn't she?"**

"**I've always thought that; ever since I was a little girl." She smiled at the thought.**

"**I'll wager you were a pensieve child who thought too much for her own good."**

"**I still do. So do you." He looked so troubled, his thoughts transparent really. "Tonight you were thinking of Maragaret."**

**He seemed surprised that she knew, or that she'd say so. "Yes."**

"**I think about her too."**

"**I've tried to forgive her. The hell of it is I think I have."**

"**Then what is it?"**

"**She gave me back my wedding ring. But she's alive, somewhere. Just when I thought there was some kind of life for me... I find I'm still a married man."**

**Christy reached out, brushed back a curl of his hair that had fallen across his forehead.**

His sharp inhalation of breath called her attention to what she was doing and she pulled her arm back.

"I remind you of her. I'm sorry."

"No." he turned, watched the shining, dancing water. "Atleast not for the reason you think: you're not that similar. Excepting that day you borrowed her dress. Arguing with you is an entirely different experience."

She watched him, "Then why?"

He hesitated, turned and studied her face, as if trying to decide if he could tell her the truth. "When I look at you, I have to think of her or I can't help but want..."

She registered what he hadn't said and looked away, her "Oh," barely audible with the sound of rushing water so close.

"I'm a fool – but I can't help how I feel. The people here need you," he hesitated, sighed, sat down on the rocks, "and they need me. I don't know what to do."

"Nothing."

He looked up at her.

"There's nothing we can do."

He nodded.

"You have to stop punishing yourself. You've done nothing wrong." She sat beside him, consciously not close, and the distance felt awkward.

"I know – I want to, but it doesn't seem to make any difference."

"I feel guilty too." Christy confessed.

"Not for that one night - you're completely innocent in this."

"Not for that – but I wish for things..." She looked up at the moon, turning her face away from him to hide the tears welling in her eyes. "And I shouldn't."

He moved beside her, put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "You've done nothing wrong."

"There's just no good solution for..." She turned to him, "For Miss Alice, and Margaret, and you."

"And you." He added. He was so close she felt the breath from his words against her cheek.

"And me." She whispered.

He kissed her then. There was a moment when she knew he was going to, and she should have pulled away, but she couldn't find the willpower.

They were entirely absorbed, desperation and passion and raw emotion overwhelming better judgement.

Realising what she was doing, she pulled away. She stood, too quick, and stumbled with dizziness.

He jumped to his feet to help her but she was gone, half walking, half running, back toward the Mission.

Miss Alice found her early the next morning. "Good morning, Christy," she spoke cautiously.

"Miss Alice."

"Is thee well? I thought I heard crying last night."

"Oh... I..."

"Thou art not homesick this time, I think."

Christy shook her head.

Miss Alice waited.

"Thee knows where to find me."

Christy nodded. "Thank you."

_As in the television episode, Bessie tells everyone at church that she saw Christy at the river with John Spencer 'wallowing in sin'. Neil and Miss Alice are absent. Everyone there seems to believe the lie – even David. They won't send their children to be taught by her, so school is closed. Neil and Miss Alice are told as much by some of the chilren, on their way back into Cutter Gap._

_Neil finds Christy at the empty school..._

She saw him coming and instinct told her to flee. He called out her name. She ran up the school house steps but he caught up before she reached the top.

"**What can I do?"**

"**You shouldn't have come."** She turned and found him standing too close. She backed up into the door frame.

"**I won't let them-"**

"**We can't. Someone might see us like Bessie did down by the river. Maybe she thought I was with John, maybe she just made it up, but she saw us together."**

"**Christy, you are innocent."**

"**You are a married man. A midnight meeting with you** – even if all we'd done was talk – **is worse than being with John – for my reputation as well as yours**."

"My reputation is my own business. I'll not let them do this to you."

"You're going to tell them the truth?"

"I'm going to tell them you're innocent. They trust me." He was closer again.

She turned and walked up the aisle toward the front of the classroom.

A minute later she heard him leave. She turned, leaned on her desk, and watched him gallop away.

Miss Alice found her staring out over the lake at the dusky mountains. "I lift up mine eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help."

Christy turned to her and smiled. "I've been looking to the mountains a lot."

"Does it not seem to be helping?"

She shook her head. "Perhaps I should leave. I'm doing no good here and it would..."

"Do no good to anyone."

Christy turned to her.

"I have no doubt you were not with John Spencer that night, but I'll wager it was not a simple solitary walk that kept you up half the night, crying into your pillow." She stroked the younger woman's face. **"If thee would conquer a lie, thee must tell the truth."**

"I was restless and couldn't sleep. I thought a walk might help and Doctor MacNeil happened upon me at the river. He was... upset. I... we talked. I only wanted to comfort him but we..." She watched Miss Alice's deepening look of concern, "We kissed."

Miss Alice's expression actually lightened a little. "So that truth, in this case, might not set you free."

"It was only a kiss."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I don't think leaving Cutter Gap is a solution to this..." she waved her hand to indicate the situation, "But perhaps you should take some time away. It might be helpful."

"But the children..."

"They'll be here when you return."


	7. Variation on 'The Hostage'

_Christy leaves for Ashville and recieves letters from Miss Alice with news from Cutter Gap..._

_- that her name has been cleared (Bessie, guilt-wracked, told everyone that Christy was alone by the river)_

_- that there was (after the fact, as Alice is away at the time) a Scarlet fever scare, but that everyone is now well._

And then Christy decides she must go back – for the love of Creed Allen if nothing else. She goes to book her ticket for a train later that week, stopping at the post office on her way home, to find another letter from Miss Alice...

Dear Christy,

I hope this finds thee well. It has been a difficult week here. I did not write sooner as I did not wish to scare you. Rest assured, all is well now. But you should know that five days ago Neil was shot. A patient of his died when she didn't follow his prescription – he of course blames himself. As did the woman's husband. Neil was lucky he was a poor shot. The bullet went clean through his shoulder and he lost a lot of blood, but Creed Allen found him and ran for Dan Scott.

Neil is staying at the mission, for now, though you can imagine how difficult a patient he is. I've no doubt he will not stay long.

I hope you received the childrens' letters and drawings. Fairlight Spencer has been taking lessons most days, with David doing as much as he can. You are sorely missed but I hope you will not shorten your stay with your family.

Not for our sake, but your own.

Yours,

Alice Henderson.

Christy forced herself not to run back to the station. She changed her ticket for the next day and went home to explain, hoping some explanation would come to her on the walk home.

When she stumbled up the mission steps at dusk the next day, Miss Alice shook her head in amazement and embraced her weary friend.

"I should have known."

"I was planning on coming back in a few days anyway."

Alice shook her head, "You must be exhausted. Go upstairs. I'll find you something to eat."

Christy woke with the sunrise and found herself restless. She had exhausted herself yesterday, but she'd slept for over twelve hours and it had certainly revived her.

She made herself a list of things she wanted and needed to do. Visiting Neil went on the list with reading and lesson preparation – school would hopefully be back in only a few days.

It was the middle of the afternoon before she let herself go. She was starting to tire and wondered if it was a good idea. She needed to be her strongest, most clear-minded and resolute self in order to face him, alone, safely. Alice assured her that he was healing well, physically. But Christy had to see for herself, and she knew he was blaming himself for a patient's death – something she hoped to talk him out of.

She knocked on the door and he called out to come in. She took a deep breath, seeking composure and wisdom, and let herself in.

"Is somebody ill?" He was sitting by the fire, feet up, back to the door.

"No."

He spun at the sound of her voice and stared at her for a moment before he spoke. "You're back."

"I am."

"And how was Ashville?"

"Peaceful and Quiet – no outbreaks of Scarlett fever, no shootings, at least not in my neighbourhood."

"How dreadfully boring for you."

She abandoned the charade and went to him, taking the seat next to his. "Miss Alice told me what happened."

He tipped his cup to his mouth and she noticed the smell of alcohol.

"Are you alright?"

"Aside from the hole."

"Neil."

"I'm fine. I'll not be fishing for a while."

"Then I doubt you're fine."

He finally smiled at that. "So you decided to come back."

"I always meant to come back."

He nodded, looking into the fire.

"Not because Ashville's boring, but I did miss the cove. I don't know how I'll ever leave this place."

"You will."

"I'm not so sure. A year ago I was homesick for Ashville, but a week ago I was homesick for here – and that was before I got the letters from the children."

"Ah, that explains it."

"Explains what?"

"You came back for the Children."

"Don't do this, Neil." She sat back in her chair. He was in one of those unpredictable moods – thoroughly enjoying exasperating her, one minute, and exploding in anger the next if she wasn't careful. "Are you in pain? Is that why you're drinking?"

"Seemed like a good excuse."

She doubted there was a way she could bring up the subject of his patient who'd died without making things worse, so she sat and waited.

"Would you like some?" Neil held out his cup. "You needn't worry about germs when it's this stuff you're drinking."

To his surprise she took the cup, stood and took it to the bench. "How about I make us some tea."

"That should fix everything."

"I don't want to fight."

She took the tea pot outside to fetch water and soon returned. Kneeling in front of the fire, she put the kettle in place and then sat back on her heals, watching the flames.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head.

"I'm glad you came back."

"I wanted to come back sooner – I was worried about Creed, after the Scarlett fever."

"He was lucky."

"Sounded like it wasn't just luck."

"Possibly. It certainly wasn't just me. I seem to be bumping into my limits more and more regularly."

"It's hard, this being a mere human." She regretted her flippancy as soon as the words had left her mouth. She turned to find him staring at his free hand, where it rested on his knee. "You did the best you could – no one can ask more than that."

"For Creed, yes."

"Not only for Creed." She stoked the fire.

He slammed his fist down on the arm chair, "Alice!"

Christy jumped and the log she was prodding slipped out of the hearth, sending hot embers flying at her. She tried to push the log back into the fire, fearing the cabin would be set alight.

Neil jumped up and stomped on the burning embers on the floor. "Get out of the way." He grabbed a poker and, with his bandaged arm took Christy's poker off her. He cried out in pain as he lifted the log back into the fire. He returned the pokers to their place and then put his arm back in the sling, before leaning on the mantle, his back to Christy.

"I'm sorry." She was worried about him.

"No, I scared you." He turned to her. "Sometimes I wonder why you bother with me at all." He watched her, refusing to look at him, and then noticed that she was rubbing her forearm. He knelt in front of her, "Let me see." He took her hand, uncovering two welts on her arm and one on the inside of her wrist. "Come on, we need water." He gently tugged her to her feet and then followed her down to the river.

She knelt on the rocks and held her arm in the cold water, relief from the burning instant. It the pain cambe back after a minute and she held her arm in the current while her fingers went numb. "How long do I need to do this?"

"A while yet – the longer the better to stop the burning."

"I can't feel my fingers."

"Can you hold them above the water?"

She twisted her arm and nodded, though this was more awkard. She looked up at him. "You're going to blame yourself for this too, aren't you?"

"No, I'll give Alice Henderson this one. I didn't think gossip was allowed in Quaker circles."

"It wasn't gossip." Christy adjusted her position so she could sit down. "And I know you well enough to guess."

"This was different. I know I can't do miracles, but this time I was really negligent. If Jonas Tatem had the money for a lawyer and hadn't come after me himself, I'd rightly lose my medical license."

She looked at her arm in the river, distorted by the moving water, not knowing what to say.

"A young woman is dead and I had a hand in it." The tea kettle Christy had left on the fire whistled out from the cabin. Neil went and removed it from the flames, returning immediately.

"You're hardly practising in a city clinic, shutting your doors at six and getting a hot meal and a good eight hours sleep every night."

"They don't have a secondary hippocratic oath for us country doctors."

"You did the best you could under the circumstances."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know you – you always do. Half the reason you don't get enough sleep is because you'll stay half the night just to keep an eye on things, to make absolutely sure that you've done everything you can."

He sighed. "How's it feeling?"

"Numb. Mostly. What I don't understand is how you take all the credit for a disaster but when Creed Allen is revived from death's door..." she shook her head.

"That was a miracle."

"I didn't think you believed in miracles."

He sat down beside her and held out his hand to see the burns. "Neither did I."

She shook some of the water off then held out her arm for the doctor to inspect.

His warm hands gently caressed her icy skin. "I don't think it will scar."

She shook her head, not really concerned. She'd done herself as much damage with a hot iron. She stood up and offered her hand to help him up.

He took it then turned away to walk back to the house.

She brushed off her skirt and began to follow him, then noticed the red stain on his shoulder. "Neil," she ran the few steps between them and he turned to her as she reached out, "you're bleeding."

"What? Oh, it's probably dried."

She shook her head and gently touched his shoulder.

He winced, gritting his teeth. "Alice'll kill me."

"She might as well just let you finish the job yourself. Come on," she led the way up the steps, "I'll do what I'm told."

"Just this once."

She laughed. "Okay then."

Neil opened the door to his lab and got out some iodine and fresh bandages. "I'm hoping you won't need these," he put down a needle and thread beside the bandages and sat in the chair.

She nodded, "That makes two of us. Are you sure you don't want me to get Miss Alice."

"I believe in you." He quoted her words from months earlier.

"Now that's what I call blind faith." She helped him take off the sling, then hesitated, glad he couldn't see her expression when he started unbuttoning his shirt.

"You're going to have to help me here." He was struggling to get his good arm out of the shirt sleeve without the help of his other hand.

Summoning some professional distance, she stepped around and held the cuff so he could slip his arm out. She noticed the hairs on his chest were the same colour as his hair before tearing her eyes away.

"If you're not comfortable you can go get Alice. I'd do it myself but..."

She shook her head and took his shirt, dropping it over the back of the other chair, with the sling. "It's fine. Tell me what to do."

"The bandage is tied just here." He pointed to a neat knot at his collar bone.

She set her fingers to it, trying to focus and ignore the effect such proximity was having on her. "I don't think my bandaging will be this neat." She started unravelling the bandage, rolling it up as she went, around his chest and over his shoulder, then around again and over the shoulder, again and again.

"Okay, now carefully pull the last pad away. It may be dried and stuck in places – but it's already bleeding so don't fret if you take off a bit and it starts bleeding."

She tried to be careful, stopping everytime she saw his jaw clench, apologising.

"It's okay. Keep going. This is the easy bit."

"There's quite a bit of blood."

"You're not going to faint are you?"

"No, but I can't see any stitches."

"Show me the bandage."

She held it up for him to inspect.

He instructed her to sponge away some of the blood and then hold up a mirror so he could see the wound. The stitches were fine, for the most part. Only one had pulled and Neil instructed her to apply some iodine. They would wait and see if the bleeding stopped.

She'd managed to spill a little too much iodine and he now had a yellow streak down is arm. She wiped at it but the stain remained.

"Good thing you took off your shirt."

"How else would you have...? I know, you were cut from finer cloth."

"What?" Was he trying to incense her? Surely by now she'd proven that she wasn't so weak and dainty as he'd first thought her.

"Don't misunderstand me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can rise to any challenge that comes your way. I'm just saying you deserve better than... you deserve the best."

"Seeing you hurt pains me, Neil. That is the only discomfort I find in this." She looked him in the eye, imploring him to understand.

He held her gaze steady, his eyes soft and kind, if just the tiniest bit pleasantly surprised.

She tore her eyes away. "I think the bleeding has stopped."

"Excellent."

She felt his eyes still on her, but determined to focus on her task. "So I hold this here and then wrap you up again?"

Neil nodded and she began. "Tighter." He instructed. She felt him wince but he insisted she was doing it right.

"There." She held the ends of the bandage, pulling the knot firm and then trying to flatten it down, to no avail, "It's not very tidy."

"No one's going to see it. Except you."

"And whoever changes the bandage next."

"I'll tell them I did it myself. Then they'll be impressed." He stood and shrugged his shirt back on with just a little help.

Christy didn't wait to be asked to do up the buttons.

"I can..." He stopped her hands with his.

She stepped back, dropping her hands to her sides awkwardly.

"I hope you like your tea tepid, Miss Huddleston."

She smiled. "Saves all that time usually spent stirring and blowing on it."

"Exactly." He adjusted the sling and led the way out to make them tea. "It's remarkable what I can now do with one hand."

She sat and watched him. It was awkward and slow, but he could indeed make tea with one hand. "How do you do up your boot laces."

"Teeth."

She nodded, impressed.

"Though I might be shaving less regularly. I'll try not to be frightening. On that note, how's your arm?"

"Oh, fine."

"Let me see."

She held our her arm. "I have no doubt of your skill, but I'd rather you didn't amputate while you can only use one hand, Doctor."

He held her arm tenderly. "Fortunately that won't be necessary. How about a salve? Do you trust me?" He looked up at her.

She nodded.

He lingered a moment then let go of her arm and went to his lab. "Go ahead and pour."

"You don't want to show me that you can do it with one hand?" She felt the absence of his touch acutely.

"I have to save something for next time."

She poured their tea as he returned.

He handed her the jar of salve. "Do you mind?"

"Ah, the man has limits." She put the empty jar on the bench.

"I think this is not news." He applied the salve. It felt icy on her hot skin and made her shiver. Neil put the lid back on the jar and she tightened it. He picked up his tea cup, sipped once. "You know what I just realised? I thought I'd saved myself from the wrath of Alice Henderson when you said you'd patch me up, but she's going to see these burns."

"In what universe do you suppose my answer to her question is going to be – oh, Neil did that?"

He smiled and took his teacup back to his seat by the fire.

She followed. "No one blames you – but you."

"And the man who shot me."

"A berieved husband – not exactly an unbiased judge."

He nodded, silent.

Christy sipped her tea. "I never told you, but I had a baby sister who died."

He looked up but she was staring into the fire.

She turned to him, her face lighting up at the memory. **"She was born in spring. I was eight years old. And I was so excited. Amelia was perfect – like a little china doll. She had dark blue eyes and the tiniest little hands. I'd feed her and she'd hold onto my finger and look up at me and laugh, like she knew a secret."** Her eyes were welling at the thought of what was to come.

He leaned forward in his seat, ready to go to her, comfort her. But she continued.

She stared into the dregs of her tea. **"I don't talk about it. I don't tell people because they don't know how it feels, unless they've lost..."**

"You don't have to do this."

She blinked back the tears and shook her head, **"I would take Amelia out in her carriage every day, and I would rock her to sleep. She was my baby." **The tears returned and she didn't stop them, **"Amelia got scarlett fever. And I wasn't allowed to see her because I might catch it. And she died two days before her second birthday."**

He couldn't bare it and moved to sit beside her. Desperate to offer some comfort, he touched her arm.

"**It hurt so much. And I was so furious. I was furious at my parents, the doctors, everyone who let it happen. But it wasn't their fault."** She shook her head. **"It wasn't anybody's fault. It was terrible, and it wasn't fair, but there wasn't anyone to blame. I had to accept that."**

"How?"

"With God's help, and with time. **I haven't forgotten Amelia. She's in my heart, and in every child in my classroom." **She looked up at him.

He ran his hand up her arm and caressed her face.

Christy leaned into his touch for a moment, then stood up. "I better go."

Neil went to stand.

"No," she put a hand to his uninjured shoulder, "You should rest."

"Thank you Doctor Huddleston." He covered her hand with his own, for a moment, before they both pulled away.

She opened the door to Ben Pentland's familiar call-out. She greeted him and he her.

"The Doc home today?"

"Yes, he is."

Neil stepped up to the door behind her. "Afternoon Mr Pentland. What have you got for me today?"

"A letter from Knoxville."

"How's the shoulder, Doc?"

"I had better be going." Christy left Ben Pentland to his eager but inprobably successful campaign to find out the contents of the doctor's mail.

Christy was half way back to the mission when she thought of Fairlight. Their friendship had certainly taken a knock but she longed for it to be mended. So she detoured to the Spencers, nerves rising in her belly until the children spotted her.

"Teacher!" They ran at her and hugged her. She knelt to look them in the eye, caressing their grubby faces and holding their pudgy hands.

Zady left her younger siblings and went for her mother.

Fairlight approached meekly. The children took their que and ran off to play.

"Fairlight, I..." Christy begun, but was interrupted -

"I'm so sorry, Miss Christy, I should never have believed a word that girl said. It'd serve me right if you never spoke to me again."

Christy smiled, "How would we have reading lessons that way?"

Fairlight grinned and gathered her friend into an embrace.

"I missed you," Christy hugged her tight.

"I was afraid you wouldn't come back. It'd serve us all right."

"I had to come back. I missed everyone so much."

"Really? But you were with your family."

"I miss them when I'm here – my father especially – but this is my home now." They walked toward the house. "When I first came here I thought – well, who'd have thought I'd never want to leave."

"You think you might stay? I'm trying to picture you in your own mountain cabin, little-uns running around and hiding in your skirts."

"Is that so hard?"

Christy got back to the Mission at dusk, just in time to see Miss Alice, on horseback, disappear over the rise.

She found Ruby Mae in the kitchen, chopping carrots. "Where's Miss Alice headed?" Christy washed her hands to help with dinner.

"I don't rightly know, Miss Christy." Dinner was abandoned. "A letter come from Knoxville and she was mightily upset. Packed her bags and left you this note – she writes faster than Rob Allen! I was sorely tempted to read it but..."

Christy grabbed the note and unfolded it with such haste she tore it. She read aloud, her mind racing. "Dear Christy, I've heard from Margaret. Her illness is severe and she asks for me. I do not know how long I will be gone. I know you will have your hands full in my absence but hold me, and my daughter, in thy prayers,

Alice Henderson."

"Oh Lordy." Ruby Mae summed it up just about right.

Christy realised what Neil's letter must have been. "I'm sorry, Ruby Mae. Could you hold the fort."

She raced out to the stables and saddled a horse in record time.

"You won't catch her, Miss Christy."

"I'll be back." Christy called back as she rode off.

Neil was trying to saddle Charlie, one handed.

Christy jumped off her horse and ran to him. "Let me do this." She took the strap but he held it tight. "Neil, I can saddle Charlie. You haven't packed a thing. Go."

He let it go with a huff and went back into his cabin.

She stroked the horses neck. "It's okay," she murmered. Charlie was agitated, probably picking up on Neil's state of mind. Gently but firmly, she adjusted the saddle and reigns, tightening the straps and then checking them. Neil was in no state to ride, but she knew he must.

She offered a silent prayer for his safety as he returned with a bulging saddle-bag. He slung it over the horse but let Christy do the fastenings.

"Alice left already."

He nodded.

She stood back to let him mount. "I know it doesn't mean much, but you'll be in my prayers – all of you." She handed him the reigns.

He held onto her hand for a moment. "That means... more than you know."

She nodded and he let go of her hand.


	8. Variation on 'Second Sight'

_The episode 'Babe in the Woods' begins while Neil and Margaret are still absent. Nothing has been heard from them. Fairlight and David are around so the story follows the episode initially. Daniel Scott checks the abandoned baby over, in Neil's absence, and Neil can't teach the children Physical Education so they're stuck with David and Baseball, but they survive. Christy pours herself into the baby, glad of the distraction._

_There's no Miss Alice to hunt around for the baby's mother but Ben Pentland's gossip makes it through and Christy goes looking for the girl and they talk... but the outcome is the same. She doesn't stick around._

_Unfortunately Miss Alice isn't there to hold Christy back from being hopelessly devoted to the baby. And David sees the opportunity to have another go at convincing her to marry him, if it means she can adopt the baby. Only it has the opposite effect on Christy, who starts to think that if she's not willing to marry just to be able to keep the baby, then maybe she's not ready for such a commitment as motherhood._

_As in the episode, the baby gets sick, and Opal saves her. Christy feels even more unequal to the task of motherhood. David insists they contact and orphanage and then Christy stays up all night, worrying and praying, and has a brilliant idea... _

_And the McHone's adopt the baby._

_Alice and Neil return between this episode and the next, "Second Sight"..._

Christy found it so hard to pull herself out of bed that morning. She wondered if she'd ever catch up on the sleep she'd lost while looking after the baby. She wondered how mothers did it and if she'd ever be up to the task.

She lay back for a moment and when she woke again the light made her immediately realise she'd slept in. She ran out the door with an apple for breakfast and found the children waiting on the steps.

"Everything a'right Miss Christy?"

They eventually won the truth and she confessed her tiredness. Even Creed Allen mangaed to be behaved that day. She looked up from her desk and watched them in their reading groups. They gave her so much hope and joy – enough to keep her going.

That must be how mothers did it – love gave them the energy and resources to do what they must. If she had to, she could probably do anything for these children; she'd certainly try.

She let the children out for dinner break and followed the last ones up the aisle, pushing in a chair here and there on her way.

She scanned the school yard, watching them play. Alice's horse was tethered outside the mission. It took her a moment to register what that meant. She'd stopped watching out for her, and here she was. Christy ran across to the mission, bounded up the stairs and found Miss Alice at the kitchen table, making herself something to eat.

She heard Christy's entry and turned only to be enveloped in the young woman's uninhibited embrace.

After a moment, Miss Alice hugged her back. "Oh, it is good to be home."

"Oh, we've missed you so. I'm so glad," Christy let her go, "but this means..."

Alice's face was grave. She nodded.

"Oh Miss Alice." Christy had seen Miss Alice stand strong in so many awful situations, but when it came to her daughter her humanity was clear. She struggled to keep her emotions in check and her eyes were dark.

"There is a strange kind of peace in this mourning."

Christy watched the beloved face and took Miss Alice's hand. "Margaret is at peace."

"Exactly, and I believe I will one day see her again, when nothing can come between us and all is forgiven." She held her hand to her mouth, tears welling in her eyes. "She is at peace."

They prepared the meal together and Christy caught Miss Alice up on the news of Cutter Gap. Including, of course, the McHone's adoption of an abandoned baby girl.

"I will ride over and visit the McHones as soon as I've unpacked my things."

"But you must be so tired."

Alice hesitated. "You are right. You are becoming very wise Christy."

Christy laughed. "It does not take very much wisdom to suppose that you might be tired after a full day's journey."

"No, but that is not all that I was referring to. Perhaps I should go on holiday – seems like you all coped very well without me."

"We fumbled our way through. I missed you so."

"I was teasing. I'll be around for a while yet."

"Good."

Christy returned to school and was packing up for the afternoon when she realised what Miss Alice hadn't said, and she hadn't asked: was the Doctor home also?

The children ran to their freedom and Christy watched their energy and joy, envying the simplicity of it. Things had all seemed so much simpler before Margaret's return from being presumed dead. And now she had died.

Christy doubted that things would return to their previous simplicity. She knew she wasn't ready to be a mother – so she wasn't ready to marry. The one did not always immediately follow the other, but she had to assume it might. Miss Alice, and probably Neil as well, mourned Margaret, and so anything other than friendship with Neil would be impossible. She best keep her distance. Everytime she saw him she felt they walked a difficult line.

They worked well together, so long as they didn't spend any length of time alone. They shared a love for the children, a shared purpose, that would undoubtedly bring them together. She was glad of that. She had missed him even more than Alice. She had longed to discuss the baby with him. At some point she had come to rely on him. She knew, logically, it was unwise, but this thought wrestled with the unshakable belief she had in him. She trusted him implicitly and he'd proven again and again that he was worthy of that.

She resolved not to seek him out, to leave him to mourn. When he was ready to teach the children, he would find her, and medical emergencies aside, she would wait till then to see him, talk to him, work with him. She could miss him a little while longer.

_The episode Second Sight tangents off from Neil's visit to the McHone's - the first time Christy has seen him since Margaret's death._

Christy visited the McHones regularly, indulging in cuddles with baby Iris and enjoying her growing friendship with Opal. Doctor MacNeil called out a 'hello' from a way off so she had plenty of time to prepare herself to meet him again.

She played with the baby while Opal went out to the porch to greet the doctor.

"Miss Huddleston," His voice barely wavered when he greeted her.

"Doctor MacNeil."

"How is the lad?" Neil went straight to business.

"Has his good days and bad. Today's not a good 'un." Opal went to the other room to get Toot.

"And how's wee Iris?" Neil sat beside Christy and reached over to stroke the baby's head.

Christy knew he was checking her over – with a simple caress he'd checked her temperature, eye sight and fontanelles. She smiled at him. "Just perfect."

"The colic cleared up and she's plenty hungry." Opal added.

"Excellent. Perfect."

Toot came in and submitted himself to the doctor's examination and questions. The diagnosis: anaemia. Toot was low in iron, and wasn't able to fight off infection.

Her visit was due to end so she walked out with Neil.

"**He needs a steady diet of fresh vegetables and meat; foods that require money in the winter."**

"**But if Opal finds those greens..."**

"**That's a big 'if' so late in the year. And I cannot see Opal surviving the loss of another child."** Neil untethered Charlie and led the horse along the trail.

Christy sighed, falling instep beside him.

"Though I hear you're partly responsible for their latest bundle of joy."

"Oh, I... I suppose. I was very glad she didn't end up leaving the cove. Maybe I'll teach her to read and write one day."

"Now that's a long term plan. You've been here for less than two years and hoping for another five?"

"Absolutely."

He looked at her sideways. They walked a bit further before he spoke again. "I've been meaning to come by and offer my services as science teacher. I apologise for the delay – something always seems to come up."

"No apology necessary. I didn't expect... that is, the children will be delighted to hear you're coming. They always love your demonstrations. I struggle to make reading, writing and arithmetic so engaging."

"Why do you think I pursued science? You know it wasn't altruism."

She laughed.

"Now that I have missed."

"What?"

"You laughing."

She looked at him but his eyes were on the path, giving nothing away.

"I meant to come by, but I wasn't sure... that is, I know Alice would..." he sighed. "So Tuesday afternoon for a science lesson?" He stopped walking.

She smiled and nodded. "You don't have to explain your absence. I understand. I could just have easily have visited you – and it's entirely possible my reasons are those you so articulately just outlined."

He laughed.

"Now that I have missed."

He laughed again and mounted his horse. "Better get on to the Holts."

"Nothing serious I hope."

"Just a mild case of hypochondria." He winked at her and trotted off.

She watched him go and took a long deep breath of mountain fresh air. She was relieved that had gone well, and relieved that she would see him again so soon, that he would be returning to her classroom, and her life, with something like normality.

_The story continues as in the original episode. Nathan Stone arrives, with all his generous gifts. Fairlight is fretting about the coming darkness despite Christy's attempt to comfort 's a party and when Fairlight meets Nathan Stone she puts a name and face to the 'darkness'. Neil, having not just received an ominous letter from his wife, is neither late or drunk. Christy has her dance with Mr Stone, and Neil can watch affably, knowing he'll get her next. I'll see if I can come up with some other way David gets to slug Neil. He's wanted to for so long, it seems fitting._

"I see Toot McHone is doing better." She smiled up at him.

"For now." He held her lightly and led her through the dance.

"I tried to help."

"Of course you did."

"I think Opal'd take something if it weren't for Tom."

"It won't work, Christy, but I know better than to tell you to give up."

She smiled and he spun her around. She laughed and went back into his arms, falling into the familiar steps. "So, what do you have planned for us for Tuesday?"

"How do you feel about surprises?"

She lifted her eyebrows. "Planning something special? I love surprises."

"Or I just haven't planned anything yet."

"I doubt that."

"You're very sure of it."

"Am I wrong?"

He smiled, despite his efforts to keep a straight face, and then spun her again.

"I look forward to it." Dancing, being so close to him, reminded her of the last time she had been so – when she was putting a fresh dressing on his shoulder. "How is your shoulder?"

"All better." He was all cheer, but a few steps later amended his answer, "It aches but I suppose I have been well-distracted."

"Are you able to fish again?"

He was obviously pleasantly surprised by her question. "Not very well, but yes."

"I'm glad."

"So am I."

_Mr Stone tells Christy the truth about his visit (scouting logging land) that evening and she relays it to Neil as he leaves to go home..._

"**Mr Stone was just telling me he hoped to buy the McHone and Timmons properties for logging. They could move to the city and get real jobs. The money would give the families a good start."**

Neil looked confused, hurt. He sighed and shook his head, walking away. He shot back, **"Congratulations Christy, you finally got what you came for."**

"**Neil,"** she called after him, not understanding. "Doctor MacNeil? Excuse me Mr Stone." She went after the doctor, catching up to him when he was untying his horse. "You are the most infuriating..."

"Don't you get it? This is the beginning of the end for these people. For my people. They'll disappear into the cities. Of course it sounds like a good offer – it's a sales pitch." He mounted his horse. "I know you mean well but mark my words, this is a mistake."

He rode away. "What's the alternative? Neil?" She clenched her fists and groaned in frustration.

The next morning she found him on his porch, shaving. "Good morning." He set his mouth in a grim line and she wasn't sure if it was in aid of shaving or an expression of feeling.

"**What you said last night – I want to know what you meant."**

"Well good morning to you to Neil."

"You said I was finally getting what I came here for."

"**Well aren't you?"**

"**If you mean the McHones, I want to see them helped, yes. I'm happy that they'll have some money and a chance at a better life."**

"**A better life – is that what you think he's offering?"**

"**Neil, I don't understand why you're so angry. Nathan Stone has done nothing but offer his help."**

"**And what kind of help is that? Robbing them of their land? Sticking them in some stinking little job that pays them next to nothing? Stacking their families in some run down dormitory in a city full of strangers?"**

"**You're not being fair."**

"**What happens when the job's gone, Christy? What then? Their only tie is to the land, to eachother. It's all they have. And it's men like your Mr Nathan Stone, men who've had everything handed to them on a plate, who know nothing of hardship, of struggle, of honour. They'll steal even that."**

"**You're wrong. It is men like Nathan Stone who are helping to build this country. The jobs they offer give poor families hope."**

"**The city will swallow them up."**

"**It didn't swallow you up."**

**He cut himself and gasped, but kept shaving.**

"**You're bleeding." Christy went to the cupboard in search of a cloth and found a jug of moonshine. "What is this? Moonshine?"**

**He turned to her, incredulous, throwing his razor aside. "I buy this when families can't move it off the mountain. I buy this so they've got some cash money. Now, Tom McHone stopped running moonshine because of you and the preacher and your God. What's your God going to do for him now he's got nothing to sell?"**

"**He has trees to sell. And someone to buy them. You cannot stop progress, Doctor."**

"**That man and his kind will destroy this cove and you brought him here."**

She stormed past him, "You are impossible." She got to her horse and tried to untie him, but her hands weren't cooperating, fingers fumbling and eyes blurred with tears, she only tangled it. Fairlight's words came to mind – crying trees, dead fish. She was having nightmares about loggers. And Christy had brought them here. She dropped the knot and groaned in frustration.

"Christy." Neil's tone was compassionate and she hated to think that her tears were manipulating him. He untied her horse and handed her the reigns.

She took them but refused to look at him, ashamed of herself. "What do I do?"

"I don't know." He sighed.

"Something Fairlight said – I didn't believe it but..."

"I've been meaning to stop in on her – she's been having spells again?"

Christy nodded. "She foresaw this – I didn't know what she meant at the time, but now..."

"Did she really?"

Christy finally looked at him and nodded.

He hesitated before he spoke next, his question obviously important. "Do you really think they'll be better off in the city? Is that your answer to what you see here?"

She shook her head. "I want these people to have more, I want their lives to be better. What have I done to them? But for the McHone's... you said Toot needed a better diet and if it's the lives of their children at stake then... What can we do?"

"No. I can't think of a solution either. But there's got to be a better way than this."

"I don't see it."

He touched her sad face. "If you've lost faith Christy, then there isn't much hope for the likes of me."

She searched his eyes, trying to figure out the meaning behind his enigmatic words.

"Maybe, rather than shouting at eachother we could try working together. We've had some success at that in the past."

She smiled, nodded. "I could talk to Opal, try to delay their decision a bit, and hopefully something will..." she waved her hand in the air.

"There's got to be someone around here who needs an extra pair of hands."

"There's no shortage of work – just means to pay for it."

The doctor nodded and helped her up onto her horse. She held his hand for a moment longer than necessary. They would figure this out. Together.

_Nathan Stone goes ahead and proposes his purchase to the McHone's who insist on considering it, despite Christy's arguments. Mr Stone accuses Christy of hypocracy because she's happy to take donations, to use paper, as long as she doesn't have to see where it all comes from._

_Meanwhile, Miss Alice is mourning her daughter. When Christy confides her feelings of guilt about bringing Mr Stone to the cove, and lets slip that Neil seems to think that Christy did bring it all on, even if unintentionally. Alice dissolves into tears..._

"Miss Alice, are you alright?"

She pressed her hands to her eyes and turned away.

"It's Margaret, isn't it?"

"The world is moving on without her in it – as it should – but too soon for me."

Christy nodded and embraced her friend, having no words to offer.

_Alice goes to see Neil, not to return a letter but to ask for help..._

"**So I am asking for your help. Oh I wish thee could see thy face."**

"**Alice, I've always felt that we shared a respect for oneanother's medical abilities, but I've never seen us as friends."**

"**I'm afraid that is my fault. First I was angry at you for taking my daughter away. Then I blamed you for her unhappiness. And then when Miss Huddleston came to Cutter Gap, and I saw that you had feelings for her, I was angry that you could forget Margaret so easily, but now I want to know how you did. I know that I must learn to let go of her. She is gone. My chance to make things right is gone."**

"**I never let her go as much as you think** – as much as I thought. No good comes of blaming ourselves.** Margaret never wanted the kind of help she needed,** or she'd be alive today.** I've always thought of myself as a healer, but there are some things I could never make better. **There is nothing you could have done – nothing more than you did."

Alice looked into his eyes. "How can I let her go?"

"Sounds like a question for one greater than me." He turned away.

"Neil?"

"Isn't that what faith is all about – believing something will happen and stepping out without any clear idea how, just trusting."

Alice watched, waited. He turned back to her.

"That's Christy's line isn't it? She was here two days ago about the McHone's and it was the strangest thing: I was reminding her of the same thing, when she couldn't see a way to make it work. What is the world coming to when two of the strongest women of faith I've known come to me for answers?"

Alice cracked a smile at that. "We are only human. Our faith is not constant."

"A mustard seed isn't much either."

"Did you just quote scripture? Is this an hallucination?"

"I didn't need to – you know what I mean."

She nodded. "And thou art correct. We must rely on our heavenly father first – but then on oneanother. Christy relies on you, and you on her; she on me and I on her."

"Perhaps you and I also." Neil offered, reaching out his hand.

She took it with both her own, tears in her eyes but a smile on her lips. "Thank you, Neil."

_Christy makes a last ditch attempt to dissuade the McHone's from selling their land, and fails, till Fairlight and Jeb show up and offer a partnership. The McHone's opt to stay in the cove but the Timmons have already sold their land and it is logged._


	9. Variation on 'The Road Home', part 1

_And so the final episode begins – the only difference being that David isn't going to El Pano for ring payments. Christy still catches the boys looking at the photo and Fairlight figures out what the men are 'hunting' every saturday. Christy is not quite as determined to bust them because she's not angry at David, so she and Ruby Mae don't take their trip to El Pano to catch him. Poor Ruby Mae – no new shoes. However, things do go a bit differently. All this new-found devotion to preserving the cove's way of life and not shipping them off to cities, despite the benefits therein, confuses Christy. She spends her afternoon, not talking to David, but walking, and finds herself near Hattie's cabin. A visit seems like a nice idea..._

"Miss Huddleston, what a lovely surprise."

Christy marvelled at how a blind woman could identify her at such a distance. "Good afternoon Miss Hattie."

"Isn't it? Come in, come in."

"Thank you."

"Did you come for something especially?"

"No. I was wandering aimlessly and found myself nearby."

"Wandering aimlessly? Did you have something on your mind?"

Christy laughed. "It seems like I always do."

"Tell me."

She sighed, "Well, one thing is David – the Reverend Grandland, I mean. We were such good friends, and then..." It felt like such a breach of trust to embarrass him by revealing their history.

"You wouldn't marry him."

"No such things as secrets in Cutter Gap." Christy smiled.

"Oh yes there are. But this isn't one of them."

"No. And now there are things I know I should discuss with him, because he's the preacher, but I feel I can't. There's this unresolved tension between us."

"And you're certain it's not the right kind of feelings that'd be a good reason to marry him?"

"Yes."

"You are very certain."

"I am not in love with David. The feelings I have for him are nothing like..."

"Like the feeling of being in love? Are you in love, Miss Christy?"

Christy exhaled.

"I'm prying – forgive me. So, why can you not resolve this tension with the Reverend?"

"Because I can't bare to hurt him again. I don't want to lead him to think that I might one day love him, like he wants me to, and I'm afraid that trying to mend our friendship would give him a false hope."

She held out her hand and Christy took it. Miss Hattie prayed for wisdom and thanked the Lord for Christy's compassion for David.

"Thank you Miss Hattie."

She shook off the thanks and made them tea. When she returned to her seat, "Now was there something else?"

"How do you do it? Your faith shines bright as day and yet you've suffered such hardship, and you live up here alone, and..."

"Blind? But I am not alone, and I can see the most important things – that the Lord is good and he cares for me."

"But do you ever forget that? Do you ever find a thing that you just can't help worrying over, no matter how much you want to believe that God will...?" she didn't know how to say what she wanted God to do without sounding like she expected God to be like a genie in a bottle, making everything simple and offering magical fixes.

"Of course. I take it your Reverend Grantland is not the only thing you're worring over."

"Doctor MacNeil called me on it – I was worrying about the McHones leaving."

"They didn't leave."

"No, but I couldn't see a way for them to stay, and they needed money for medicine and food. I should have trusted God, but I..."

"Went to Neil?"

Christy hesitated, then answered. "Yes."

"He may not see it but God uses him in remarkable ways."

"Yes."

"There's nothing wrong with relying on oneanother. It sounds like your lapse in faith may have been important for Neil's."

"For his faith?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways."

Christy left Miss Hattie's with a lot to think, and pray, about, but on her way home she tried not to think, to save her prayers for later, to just listen. She willed herself to watch out for God in her surroundings, in the beautiful mountains, the towering trees and diversity of life. She sought that transcending peace and found herself feeling a little lighter.

She did not sleep well. Her thoughts, sometimes turned to prayers, buzzing in her head and coming to no solutions, for any of it. Miss Alice was heart-broken, David distant, the men of the cove would be spending their saturday morning doing who-knows-what, but certainly hurting their wives and families. She felt helpless and alone in her worries.

She got up as soon as it was light, relieved that the night had passed. She resolved to talk to Neil again, remembering Hatties words, "There's nothing wrong with relying on oneanother."

As she walked, Christy planned what she was going to say. She was thoroughly distracted when she overheard Neil giving Dan Scott a lesson in not listening.

"I would've put on one of Granny Barclay's bonnets and danced around in the altogether under a full moon." She had to stifle a giggle. She only paused a moment and then continued her approach, the end of their conversation wiping the smile from her face. She nodded to Dan as he departed. Another worry to add to her list: someone was threatening Dan Scott.

"Well, Miss Huddleston, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Neil dusted off his hands as she approached.

She held up a cloth bag, **"Camphor. We're out."**

**He looked skeptical and said so, "You cannot tell me you came all this way just for Camphor." He filled the bag and twisted the top. "Now, why don't you tell me why you're really here. I am a doctor, you know. People do confide in me all the time."**

"Perhaps I should come back at the full moon." She raised her eyebrows.

He looked confused for a moment, and then mortified, and then grinned. "I'm sorry, I didn't think _anyone_ was listening."

"Clearly," she laughed.

"But you didn't come to eavesdrop. If you wanted medical training you'd only have to ask."

"Thank you, Doctor, but no, that's not why I came." She took a deep breath and leaned in close, **"The men of the cove have been frequenting a certain tea house in El Pano."**

"**I see, and you feel this tea may be poisonous to the men in some way?"**

"**Yes." **She was relieved not to have to spell it out. It seemed that their truce was holding. They might be able to work together on this quandry. **"Yes I do, don't you?"**

"**Christy, some teas have a soothing effect, calming an otherwise troubled spirit." **He must be teasing – unable to resist, as always. She couldn't expect things to change overnight.

"**Surely you aren't siding with them. Fairlight and the women are very upset, and the children have taken to looking at naughty photographs."**

"**What do you want me to do about it?"**

"**Can't you stop the men from going to the teahouse? For the good of the families?"**

"**Isn't that your Reverend Grantland's domain?"**

She hesitated, "David and I... there's a strain between us and I'm afraid that my attempts to mend it might lead him to believe there might be something between us that there is not. Plus," she changed the subject away from David, "the men respect you, they owe you so much, and they trust you. They'll listen to you."

"I'm not sure..." He sighed. "You know what I do when I need to think, or to not think, as the case may be?"

She shook her head.

"Let me show you." He led her up to the house and handed her his fishing rod. Slinging a basket over his shoulder, he led her down to the river.

"How does this help?"

"Does everything have to have a scientific explanation?" He raised his eyebrows.

She shook her head.

"Come here; hold it like this." He stood behind her and guided her hands on the fishing rod.

His closeness made it hard to concentrate, reducing her inteligible thoughts to memories of being so close in the past. It had been such a long time, and so little time. And yet so much had changed.

"**Don't think, don't even speak, just let the river pull you along."** She cast again, his arms firm around hers, guiding the movement. She wondered if her proximity was having anything like the same affect on him. **"Men are silly creatures, Christy. They search in strange places for answers to questions they have no right to ask. The tea house in El Pano is nothing more than a place where hard working men, tired of the same back breaking sameness of day-to-day, go to pretend to eachother for a few hours they're something that they're not."**

"**To forget who they really are?"**

"**To be more than they are. But come closing time they go back to their families and everything is the same again. Except," he stepped away and let her do it alone, now that she seemed to be getting the hang of fly fishing, "they have the memory of once-upon-a-time being a big man, in a big city. There's no harm done Christy, I promise you."**

She was about to reply, to disagree, truth be told. There was harm done – they hurt their wives. But she got a bite on her line.

"**There she blows," he helped her reel it in and then handed her the rod to hold while he unhooked the fish.**

They had said they'd not fight, so she didn't argue her point, but one question demanded to be asked. **"Have you ever been to the tea house?"**

"**Nothing there could compare to the beauty I find, at this moment, on this river." He let the fish go and stood.**

Christy watched it sit still in the water for a moment, then wriggle and swim away.

"**He'll be back; so will I. Tomorrow he'll be smarter, and I'll have to be smarter to catch him. The dance is more important than the frying pan, Miss Huddleston." She looked up at him, then down the river.** The fish was gone. She smiled; how true. The journey was more important than the destination. The means, more than the end.

She felt so priveleged to be here with him, to share this past time, this thing he did for solace and renewal.

Her stomach grumbled and she remembered she hadn't eaten breakfast.

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Something to eat, Miss Huddleston?"

She nodded, "Thank you."

They walked leisurely back up to his cabin, neither in a hurry to pass the time.

"I'll make us something decent for lunch. Would an apple keep you going?" She took the offered fruit and sat by the fire while he began to prepare a meal. "It might be a while, but I promise it's worth the wait."

She nodded, "I don't have anywhere I need to be."

"Good. Make yourself at home."

She bit into her apple and browsed the books that sat on the table near her.

Finishing her apple she picked up a book and started reading, her mind wandering from it easily. She felt so much more relaxed for having talked things out with Neil. Peaking over the book, she watched him, applying his surgeon's hands to chopping a carrot.

Between the poor night's sleep, the warmth of the fire, and everything else, she fell asleep in Neil's chair. He woke her with the softest caress, the back of his fingers grazing her cheek. He was kneeling beside her, eyes warm and kind, and intent on her.

"Dinner's nearly ready."

She smiled, reached out and touched a curl that fell across his flushed face. "It smells good."

He took hold of her hand, looking at the scars on her forearm. "I'm glad to see these look better. That'll teach me to keep my temper."

She was about to protest that it hadn't been his fault, but she held her breath. He pressed his lips to the soft pink skin inside her wrist. His cheek was rough with stubble and grazed against her arm. She found herself relieved that he kept hold of her hand, though lowering it from his face. "Are you trying to tell me that there's a medical reason behind kissing it better?"

He smiled, "I doubt much research has been done." He lifted her arm just a little, teasing, as if he were going to kiss it again. "Not that I'm one to rule out experimental prodedures."

She laughed.

"Shall we eat?" He let go of her hand.

He followed her outside. The table was set with flowers and her mouth watered in anticipation of the meal she could smell. She turned to thank him and saw him adjusting a phonograph.

"**I didn't know you had a phonograph."**

"**I'd forgotten myself. Well, that's not true, I just didn't realise how much I'd missed it."**

"**It's like magic."** She listened, looking up at the trees, dancing in the breeze. The light was speckled through their waving branches. It was as if all creation wanted to dance.

"It is. May I reserve a dance for later?"

She smiled and with a nod, replied, "Because the frying pan, in this particular case, is more important than the dance."

"No, but the dance won't go cold."

Christy sat down and Neil dished up a rich, dark stew.

"Would you like to say grace?"

She looked at him, holding back her surprise. "Alright."

He bowed his head, hiding his smile from her curious eyes. So she closed them and prayed.

"Father God, thank you for your many blessings; for friendship, these beautiful mountains, the river, the dance, and especially for this good food. Bless the hands that prepared it. Amen."

His smile was downright cheeky as he picked up his fork. "Enjoy."

She took a bite. "This is delicious."

"The secret is cooking it for a long time, at a lower temperature."

"How long was I asleep?"

He shrugged. "Maybe a couple of hours."

"Really? I'm sorry – not very good company."

"Dont apologise. You must have needed it. And I got a whole new perspective on the room from another chair."

"I stole your chair?"

He laughed at her concern. "I really don't mind. Anytime you want to take a nap, my chair is all yours."

"You're a strange man, Neil MacNeil."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

She ate some more. It really was delicious – rich gravy, fragrant with herbs, perfectly soft carrots and potatoes, and the meat just fell off the bones. "I feel much better for having slept, that's for sure."

"You haven't been sleeping?"

"My mind just won't shut off when it should."

"What are you worrying about? It wasn't this teahouse business was it?"

She shook her head then shrugged, "I suppose that was part of it." She dipped a piece of corn bread in the gravy. "I visited Miss Hattie yesterday."

"How is Hattie?"

"Well. Though glad of a visitor."

"I should get up there more often. It wasn't something she said that had you sleepless?"

"Not really. I all but poured my heart out, and she gently and graciously nudged me to pray."

"Let me guess, she took your hand and was half way through before you knew what was happening."

She laughed, "Yes, actually."

"That's Hattie."

"It was perfect. I'd been thinking and worrying about things, holding onto things that are well outside my control. I mean to trust it all to God, but I take it back, I take it to others, to you."

"I don't mind."

"I know. She said that there was nothing wrong with relying on eachother. I suppose I stopped feeling guilty about that, and then it was easy to pray – about all of it. So it wasn't an all together bad night."

"Does it change anything – praying about it?"

"It changes me." She found his eyes piercing, his interest befuddling. "Beyond that? Sometimes, I'm certain of it. Other times?" she shrugged, "That's beyond me." It was strangely easy to talk to him so honestly about something so intimate.

He was looking at her, scrutinizing, and she started to feel a little less comfortable.

"What?"

"You have no pretense. You're not posturing, or repeating some platitude you've been told. This is just your honest experience and struggle, and I..." He shook his head, sighed, "Thank you."

"I have to admit, I'm surprised you want to hear about it."

"I want to understand, I do. I know it's important to you."

She could tell he had more he wanted to say, but it wasn't coming easy.

"And knowing you, it makes more sense that it has in a long time. Don't expect me at Church on sunday, but if we could keep having these conversations, I'd like that."

She nodded, "Me too. I've never felt so easy sharing my shortcomings, my lack of faith."

"Perhaps you know I've less of it than you."

"Maybe."

"I like talking to you too."

She smiled. "And dancing?"

"You're finished?"

"I'm full. I can't believe you went to all this trouble, but it was divine."

He stood and held out his hand. "Family recipe."

She took his hand and stood, letting him pull her into his arms.** "I didn't know you could waltz, Doctor."**

"**You should see my sword dance."**

She laughed and fell in step. "So what were you doing while I slept the day away?"

"After I finished preparing dinner? It had to be left on its own for a while. So, I mended a fly, sat by the fire," he smiled, "watched you sleep."

She blushed. "I hope I didn't snore."

"Only occasionally."

"Oh my goodness."

"You were charming, and entertaining, all at once."

"Neil."

"Okay, I suppose when it comes to you I'm easily charmed."

"Is that right?"

"Can't be news to you."

She nervously looked at her hand on his shoulder. "Well, just so you know, you don't have to cook me a fancy meal any time you want to charm me. Not that I'll complain."

He touched her chin, turning her face so she'd look at him. "So what should I do then?"

"You don't need to do anything."

The record finished. Neil seemed surprised and let her go, bounding the steps to the phonograph.

She watched him, confused, vulnerable, and panicked a little. "I should probably go." She looked around for her jacket.

"If you wish." he turned of the phonograph.

She went up the steps, remembering her jacket was inside, but paused at the top, a step past him. "I don't wish it, Neil. You know that." When he didn't say anything she kept going, found her jacket.

"Stay."

She had one arm in her jacket and turned. "It's okay, I understand. It's too soon. That's fine."

He stepped in from the doorway. "I'm sorry. I panicked. I don't want you to leave, but I'm terrified at the same time."

"Of me?"

He stepped around behind her and took her coat. "Sort of."

She waited for him to explain, watching him place her coat over the back of his chair.

He walked to the mantle, put his forearm against it and leant there. "Margaret hated it here – not at first, but she came to. So much so that she could... I can still barely believe it." He sighed. "I want to be wise, to not make the same mistakes over, but it's really just too late. It's too late."

"Because she's dead?"

He turned to face her "No – I'm sorry. I'm rambling and making no sense at all."

She walked closer, shaking her head, no apology necessary.

"It's too late because I've alreadly fallen in love with you."

She gaped at him, too surprised to respond.

"It's been coming on so gradually that by the time I realised, it was too late. Knowing I was married wasn't enough to put a stop to it. And now? I'm hoping, praying, that you might want to stay here, with me. But it's too late for me to be wise about it and so I'm just..."

She couldn't bare to let him doubt another moment, the anguish on his face paining her. "There's no need to be afraid, Neil. I want to stay."

"You do?"

She moved closer, looked into his eyes, demanding he understood. "I love you. I've loved you for longer than... than I should have. Now that I'm allowed to, now that I don't have to keep on pretending, I can think of nothing I'd like better than to stay here, with you."

It took a moment, but then he smiled, a moment more and he was grinning, his face lit up with joy. He cupped her cheek with his hand. "You really do."

She nodded.

He shook his head ever so slightly, amazement diffusing his features. "Stay forever."

"Alright."

"I don't believe it." He still looked completely stunned.

She reached up, put a hand to his cheek and kissed him. After a moment he responded. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against his chest, returning her kiss with increasing fervour. It was familiar to her, and yet different. Their first kiss was full of innocent joy, an accident, though a happy one, and a revelation, full of uncertainty and possibility. Their second had been desperate, trying to recapture the innocence of the first when it was quite simply too late. There was no joy, no promise of anything, except that it must be the last. But now, there was freedom. They understood oneanother, found certainty, rather than unanswerable questions, and oh, so much promise.

"Oh," Christy pulled back just enough to breathe, her hands resting on his shoulders.

He took a deep, deliberate breath, as if he were willing his heart to stop racing. "I still barely believe it," he rested his forehead on hers, "But if that's how you plan to convince me, go right ahead."

"What's so hard to believe?"

"Oh, Christy. I have so little to offer you."

"You have, you are, more than you know. And it's all I want."

"It's all yours." He kissed her again, briefly, then hugged her tight.

She put her arms around his waist and ran her hands up his back, holding him tightly. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest, allowing his embrace to completely fill her senses.

"Marry me." He whispered into her ear.

"Yes." She clung to him. "Absolutely. Yes."

He kissed her hair, her temple, her cheek, her neck.

She pulled back to see him better. She held her palm against his cheek and stood up on her tiptoes. He captured her lips with joy and fervour.

She let herself be carried away be the powerful feelings coursing through her and was almost relieved when, stopping for breath, Neil released her. There were only a few inches, but she was glad of the space between them. She blushed at the thought of how she was behaving and looked up at him, fearing his disapproval.

He had almost caught his breath, his smile immovable from his lips, but a wary look in his eye.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?"

"Not at all. I just... I don't want to rush you – this."

She nodded. "That seems wise."

"It does, doesn't it." He smiled, wryly, and stepped back.

"But?"

"But, I'd marry you tomorrow if there was any way to do so."

She laughed. "I wouldn't mind. But you're right. We need to be wise about this."

"Your parents..."

"Will learn to see you as more than just a brilliant doctor. Give them a chance."

He looked very unconvinced.

"They owe you so much, Neil."

"Not their only daughter."

She took his hand and sat down, pulling him to sit beside her. "I won't give you up. If the events of the past year haven't put a stop to my feelings, then I think it's fair to say they're here for good."

"Never have I been so glad that you're so stubborn." He squeezed her hand then lifted it to his lips. "What about Alice Henderson?"

Christy sighed, "I don't know. I don't know if I can keep this a secret but perhaps..."

"No. I should tell her."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. "And perhaps, until your parents have given their consent, seeing as how news can travel in the cove, we should keep it from others."

"How long do you think we can keep this a secret? I'm sure I'll not be able to wipe the smile from my face – and I live with Ruby Mae Morrison. Unless I'm horribly rude she'll have made a hundred guesses by dinner time. This might not be in the first five, but... well, there have been suggestions – my mother suspected something when she visited."

"As did Alice. What did your Mother think?"

Christy shook her head, "I don't know. I think they need a chance to get to know you more, but I don't see how that will happen until after we've told them." She sighed.

"I could visit them, as your father's physician."

Christy looked up at him, smiled. "That would work."

Between making plans and kisses, the afternoon flew by, until Christy reluctantly returned to the Mission.

Christy managed to keep her smiles subdued or private that evening and poured herself into the singing at church the next morning, joy filling her and overflowing into expression given half a chance. She turned to leave at the end and was surprised to find Neil at the back. She overheard others' comments and admired his courage. He wandered into the yard but didn't leave, hanging about and chatted to Jeb Spencer a while. Christy had to resist the urge to go to him, remembering their agreement to keep their engagement (the thought made her tingle all over) a secret. She sought out Fairlight and was mid conversation when she spotted Neil approaching Miss Alice. So, this was when he planned to speak to her.

"This is a pleasant surprise." Alice smiled at Neil's approach.

"Yes, well."

"No need to explain, Doctor. Was there something thee did wish to talk to me about?"

"Actually, there was. Do you mind if we walk a little?"

She shook her head and fell in step beside him.

"Before I say anything, you should know I'm telling you in confidence – it's to go no further."

"Of course."

"And that said, if your reaction wasn't visible, to be enterpretted by every gossip hanging about outside the church, that'd be preferable."

"Neil..."

"It's not what you think. That's not what I'm here to tell you, anyhow."

"Okay."

"I have asked Miss Huddleston to marry me."

Her eyes were wide, jaw clenched, holding in further reaction. "She has agreed?"

"Believe it or not, yes."

She turned away from him.

"I know it is soon, but I mourned Margaret years ago. And I have mourned her again. But it is time to get on with life – for me it is."

He saw Alice nod.

"I insisted on telling you because Christy is innocent in all of this and if you're angry with anyone it should be me."

She turned back to him. "Why would I be angry?"

He watched her, confused, waiting, wary. "You don't mind?"

"Are you asking for my blessing?"

"No, I wasn't. Though I imagine Christy would like it."

"Yes, she probably would."

He waited for her to explain, to say what she thought, but she didn't say anything. "You're not angry – but you won't give your blessing?"

"No."

"Why not?" He knew this would hurt Christy, but that wasn't the only reason it bothered him, and that bothered him even more. Why should this woman's opinion matter so much?

"She is young, and idealistic, and... is she going to become a mountain woman? Live out her days here or take you away to the city? One or both of you will be torn from your homes and you'll resent one another. Surely you can see how this is going to go."

He shook his head, "We will stay here. These are her people now, don't you see?"

"She will always be an outsider here."

"In some ways, yes, but she wants to stay. Don't you think I would make sure of that? She's not Margaret. She has found a place here, a mission, like you did. This is her home."

Alice drew a deep breath, considering. "She is so young Neil, how can she know... and yet she ..." She put her hand to her mouth.

"Please do not burden her with your reservations." He turned to leave.

"Neil."

He turned back.

"Why the secret?"

"Just until I've spoken to Mr Huddleston."

She nodded.

Christy was standing with a whole group of women so Neil went toward the stables. She followed him when an opportunity to leave arose.

"How did she take it?"

He turned at the sound of her voice.

She stepped closer, trying to get an answer from the expression on his face. "Not good."

"Not for the reason you think."

"Then why?" she put her hand to his arm.

He turned back to Charlie.

"Neil?"

He sighed. "She was concerned for you. I think she's worried I'll make you miserable – that I'll frighten you away. She blames me for Margaret's leaving, fine, fair enough, but she knows you, and how can she think...?"

She reached out to him, "She's in mourning. Neil, look at me." She pulled on his arm and when that didn't work she reached up and turned his face to her. "You make me happy. My life here is full and happy, and you," she smiled, caressed his cheek, "You are my best friend, I come to you and I feel better, even when you argue with me. You make be better and you make me happy. I haven't been able to wipe the smile off my face in twenty four hours – even when I was sleeping, I'm pretty sure."

He smiled. "Me either."

"Give her some time. You'll be away, not that I'm looking forward to that, but it might help. Maybe if I stop trying to hide this ridiculous grin then she'll see how happy I am."

"There is nothing ridiculous," he touched his fingerships to her cheek, near her lips, "about your..." he kissed her.

"When do you plan to go to Ashville?"

"Soon, I think. I can possibly leave before the end of the week."

"I wish I could come."

"This way, at least, no one will catch me kissing you in the garden."

She laughed. "Next time."

"Hopefully they won't mind once we're married." He grinned.

She could barely believe it – married. To Neil. Her heart raced and she was restless with all the energy that was rushing through her veins.

_Like in the episode, the women storm the tea house... but Neil is in Ashville, and there's no Margaret, so things end quite differently. Christy and Miss Alice end up walking back to Cutter Gap together._

"Have you heard from Doctor MacNeil?" Miss Alice did not hesitate to bring up the elephant accompanying them.

"No." Christy couldn't think of anything else to say. She didn't want to change the subject, particularly, but every comment and reply that came to mind seemed like it had greater potential to make things worse than to make them better.

"I am glad you plan to stay in Cutter Gap." Alice offered.

Christy smiled at her. "And I'll keep teaching."

"For as long as you can."

"Of course." They walked on a bit further. "I hope you know that I'm not taking this decision lightly – I love it here, I love these people – with or without Neil, I intended to stay."

"You are so certain. It seems only yesterday you weren't certain enough about David – but this is why, isn't it?"

"I knew I didn't love him, because I felt more for Neil, yes. I didn't know what it was that I felt exactly – that came later."

"David does not yet know."

"No. I am not looking forward to telling him, but I will."

"Once you know what your parents say."

Christy took a deep breath.

"You are worried they will not approve?"

"Of the life they think I will have here. They find my being here difficult enough – they will not take to its permanence easily. I just hope they don't blame Neil for it."

"May I ask why you did not go with him?"

"If I were to travel with him, our purpose would be transparent – to everyone here, and to my family. I thought if they had a chance to get to know him, away from Cutter Gap, that they might see past – see him the way I do."

Miss Alice smiled, "That's unlikely Christy – don't misunderstand me, it's just that few people ever see Doctor MacNeil the way you do."

Christy nodded her acknowledgement of the truth in Miss Alice's words.

"Have you considered what you will do should your parents refuse their consent?"

Christy sighed. "I don't know. I think about it, then I can't bare to think about it. I try to predict how Neil will react, but I just don't know. I am tempted to go, but there is so much to do here and the children are right in the middle of so much. I need to stay – I want to stay. I am torn."

"Somehow I think this will not be the last time. You are planning to marry – here or in town? And when you have children, will you stay here then? You won't have school to tie you here then."

"Miss Alice?" Christy stopped. They were nearing the mission.

Alice turned to her.

"I know you have your reservations, but I have thought about these things. I am aware that this road is not going to be easy. But I love him. You must know how I tried not to – he was married! Of course I tried to stop, but I failed then and even if I wanted to stop now, I know it wouldn't work. I would have to leave this place, the children, my friends... So I choose this path, because the alternative is faithless and miserable, and I would walk it alone."

Miss Alice smiled, touched the younger woman's cheek. "This is the same determination that brought you here in the first place. It has served you well, many times."

"Do you remember – you told me once to hold on to joy? Determination may have brought me here, but it is joy, Miss Alice, as much as anything, that keeps me going. And I am full to the brim with joy."

"You are." She looked at Christy, her eyes soft and kind. "We should continue – who knows what awaits."


	10. Variation on 'The Road Home', part 2

_As in the episode, Ruby Mae dolls herself up to impress Rob Allen, unsuccessfully, and David preaches forgiveness at church, leading to the mending of the marriages of his congregants._

She hadn't heard from Neil after a week, or from her parents. She was worried, but kept reminding herself that if there was bad news it would travel as fast as Ben Pentland could carry it. She had promised Ruby Mae a pair of shoes, a thank you for all her work at the mission. So when Ruby Mae asked, that afternoon, she saw the perfect opportunity to meet the train – the train that Neil may well be on.

They rode to El Pano and the sun was still high in the sky. Ruby Mae's new shoes were found and purchased before the train arrived, but she was quite happy to meander down the main street where her shoes might be admired.

Christy's heart raced when she heard the train whistle. She had to hold herself back from hoping too much, from running to the station. If nothing else, there might be mail on the train. That, at least, was a good guise for why they went to the station.

Ruby Mae went out on the platform while Christy found Ben Pentland.

"Miss Christy Huddleston – a letter from Ashville. Certainly is fortunate you being here. Saves me a whole trip, it being the only one for Cutter Gap."

"Thank you Mr Pentland." She looked at the hand writing – it was her father's. She couldn't deny the feeling of disappointment as she stepped out onto the platform, looking for Ruby Mae, hoping for Neil.

But he did not come. She pocketed her letter and didn't open it till she was alone in her room at the Mission.

Dear Christy,

I hope this letter finds you well. We have heard much of the goings on in Cutter Gap from a surprise visitor – Doctor MacNeil! He came into town on Friday and your mother insisted he stay with us. He has helped me with my physical therapy, suggesting several new exercises. I am glad of the change. Your mother is an excellent nurse, insisting I do my exercises every day, as you can imagine. But I tire of the repitition, so Doctor MacNeil's visit has been wonderful on that front. Having him stay has meant many long evenings of conversation. He has regaled us with stories of the Mountain people and your work there. He clearly thinks very highly of you. We have been pleasantly surprised to find him – forgive my snobbishness – far more civilised than we had thought. Not only an excellent physician, but a man I'm proud to call friend.

We miss you, as always, and anticipate your letters, even more so, perhaps, for this reminder of your vivacity in our visitor's stories.

You left us only a few weeks ago, I found when looking at my calendar this morning, but it feels like much longer. Perhaps you will make it to thanksgiving this year. I am not sure we will make it to you this year, but perhaps in the spring. Your mother fears I should limit my excursions, but I'll stay home for a month before and after if the reward is a week in your company.

Yours affectionately,

Wm Huddleston.

The mixture of relief and anxiety she felt was confusing. Neil had made a good impression, to be sure, but she still didn't know more than that. He must have asked permission by now, but she couldn't be sure, and she certainly could not be sure of her parents' response.

_Then Dan's cabin fire happens. Christy goes with Alice and David, and helps put out the fire. Neil is on his way back to Cutter Gap, sees the smoke and arrives as Dan takes off after Birds Eye. Neil cannot greet Christy as he'd like to, in front of all the people, so he goes after Dan, as in the episode. Christy watches Neil leave and then sees Creed Allen, and goes after him._

_Christy doesn't find Creed and eventually gives up, goes to Neil's, and waits..._

She sat on the step, waiting, wondering. Was Dan alright? Had he found Birds Eye? Was Neil right now removing bullets from one of them? Why had Neil not written? What had her father said? Her mother? What was Creed doing in the field by Dan's house? Had he been smoking again? His disappearance certainly seemed like the work of a guilty conscience. She would find him tomorrow, go to his house, make him realise that a man's life might depend on his telling the truth. That child was going to keep her on her toes until he graduated – and beyond, possibly. Heaven forbid he might oneday have children of his own. More children for her to teach.

That thought brought to mind her conversation with Miss Alice – she would teach as long as she could... Miss Alice was referring to the likelihood that Christy would stop teaching to have children. Of course, she was right. If, no, when she got pregnant she would have to stop teaching, at least for a while, at least until the children were older, at least not full days. She thought of Iris, the baby she'd loved and cared for, as best she could, for a few days, and how unequal to the task she'd felt. And now – it might only be a year or two until she would be faced with the task.

"Christy, a sight for sore eyes." Neil slid off Charlie and slung the reigns over a post, striding up the steps.

She stood to greet him and he stopped walking one step lower, reaching out to her then hesitating.

She had so many questions to ask but first had to answer his hesitation, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him close.

His hands pressed against her back and he relaxed.

"It feels like such a long time."

"I know." He squeezed her tightly then let her go.

"Did you find him?"

"He's at his cabin, camping out. I invited him to stay here but he's determined to stay on his land – won't be frightened away." He led her inside.

"I don't think it was Birds Eye. I saw Creed Allen in the field and after I caught him smoking tobacco last week... he took off and I couldn't find him. Perhaps it was an accident."

"You think the best of everyone – even Birds Eye Taylor." He sat down a chair, clearly tired from a long day's travelling, and then searching the mountains all afternoon.

She sighed. "He might be capable of this sort of thing but that doesn't mean he did it."

"Anyway, I have a letter from your father." He got up and went outside, bringing his saddle bags back in.

"I just got one two days ago. Sounds like you made a good impression – but you hadn't told him yet when he wrote it." She took the offered letter and sat down to open it. "What did he say?"

"Read your letter, I'll make us some..." he looked around the empty kitchen, "some tea."

Dear Christy,

Doctor MacNeil approached me this morning asking for my permission to marry you. This may not be surprising to you, but I was certainly taken aback. I never expected this. He is a remarkable man, for sure, but I cannot give my permission; not yet.

You have answered him, I understand from what he has told me. I now ask you to answer me – tell me what is in your heart. Do you truly wish to live with this man, in his mountain cabin, for the rest of your days? I know you love the mountains, and the people there, especially the children, but I never supposed you would be staying forever. Is there any way you would consider living closer to home, if you did marry him?

I want you to be happy. I want the very best for you. I do not see how this can be it. Make me see and I will give you my permission, and do my best to convince your mother. I have said nothing to her as yet.

I await your reply.

Your loving father,

Wm Huddleston.

She sighed and folded up the letter.

"Well?" Neil put the kettle in the fire and sat beside her.

"I will write to him – he asks me to, to tell him why, basically. He says that if I can convince him that this is the very best thing for me, then he'll give his permission, and win mother over."

Neil nodded and took her hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

She shook her head. "Why can't everyone just be happy for us? I think I convinced Miss Alice, but in some ways I feel I shouldn't have to sell this. We're in love, we want to marry – so let's!"

Neil laughed, caressed her cheek, "So, we will. Just not quite yet."

She kissed him, two weeks' worth of longing fueling a passion that surprised them both – so surprised they broke apart and it was brief. "I missed you."

He nodded, "And I you. Perhaps you should have come with me. Anyhow, you'd better write that letter. If it's any consolation, I don't think the cove will need much convincing. They'll be overjoyed that you plan to stay in Cutter Gap, will welcome you whole heartedly into the clan, and will want to have the wedding almost as impatiently as I do."

She smiled. "That's something, I guess."

The kettle boiled and Neil poured the tea, returning to the seat while it steeped, a cheeky smile lighting up his face.

"What are you smiling about? You look like you're up to something."

He rubbed his thumb against her cheek. "You're all smudgy."

She hadn't given her appearance a thought till then. She put a hand to her sooty face and then to her hair, finding it a mess, half down and full of leaves and knots.

"I don't think you've ever looked so beautiful."

"Love must be blind, and absence made your heart fonder."

He shook his head and pulled a leaf from her hair. "Sitting on my front steps, waiting for me, not because anyone needs doctoring, but because you miss me, you want me... you take my breath away. You could have half the forrest in your hair."

"It's possible I do."

He laughed and then poured the tea.

"So, as his doctor, how is my father?"

"Recovering very well."

"My mother would be proud."

"Yes, I think she was when I pronounced him to be improving as well as I've ever seen. I haven't worked with many stroke victims, but I didn't tell her that."

"Does he still need a crutch?"

"He is using one most of the time, and until he is confident without it he should continue to do so – but he gets around a room independently, so I think in time he should be rid of it. I suppose it depends how determined he is to be without it, and that depends on his lifestyle."

"He used to pace while making his case in court – I remember watching him when I was younger – when I was on vacation and Mother got tired of having me around the house."

"He is working - but perhaps not pacing. Yet. What were you doing that your mother wanted you out of the house?"

She shrugged. "I didn't mind. I found it all fascinating."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

_The next day she finds Creed Allen and gets the truth out of him, marches him over to Miss Hattie's, somehow knowing that Dan will be there... Birds Eye is cleared and takes off into the bush. Dan is mortified that he almost kills an innocent man. Christy and Miss Alice find him at his burned cabin and take him to the Mission for dinner._

_Next day, Neil stops in to find Dan, insists they pick up their lessons again. He then finds Christy at the school. Creed and two of his cronies are cleaning the desks, complaining of doing Wimmin's Work._

"You tell her Doc, we can't be doing no cleaning." Creed implored as Neil stopped at the doorway to watch them, waiting for Christy to step outside with him.

"You'll do what your teacher says."

"Thank you Doctor MacNeil. If you channelled the energy you're wasting complaining about the task, into doing the task, you'd be done by now, Creed."

He got on with it and Christy walked down the aisle, inspecting the boys work as she went.

"I'll be checking every desk before you go." She eye-balled them then stepped outside.

"So that's how you do it."

She smiled and curtseyed.

He dropped his voice so that they wouldn't be overheard, "You'll have our children doing the housework so that you can come up here and take classes, won't you?"

"The boys and the girls." She grinned.

"How many are we having?"

She raised her eyebrows teasingly, then turned serious. "We should probably talk about that. Seriously."

He nodded.

She went back into the classroom. "Alright boys, you can go."

"Thank you Miss Christy." They chorussed and within a minute were out of sight.

Neil followed her up the aisle and sat on a front row desk, grabbing her hand and pulling her to him. He kissed her fervently then let her go.

She stepped back, flustered. "I forgot what I was going to say."

He laughed.

She stepped forward and kissed the laugh from his lips.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her there, responding fiercely. When they parted for breath he didn't let her go, only loosened his grip. "What was it we were going to talk seriously about?"

"Oh, children, that's right." She was still out of breath.

"I'm in favour of them."

"So am I – I'm just not sure I'm ready."

His lips formed an 'o' but he said nothing.

"Thing is, I looked after Iris and everything was fine, wonderful in fact, but then she got sick. I had no idea what to do. I just panicked. If Opal hadn't been there..."

"Christy, woah. You won't be alone. Every first time mother I've ever seen has feared she won't be good at it – but you..." he stroked her cheek, "you have nothing to be afraid of. It's a steep learning curve, to be sure, but so was coming to Cutter Gap, and look at you now. You've got Creed Allen falling in line. His own mother could take lessons."

She cocked her head to the side, about to protest.

He put a finger to her lips, "If you don't feel ready, fine. We'll wait. But if you're worried you're not up to the job, you're delusional."

"Thanks."

"No, I mean it. You will be wonderful. You'll make mistakes. So will I. And where we can, we'll mend them. But all the while, we'll be in it together."

She took a deep breath, and nodded. "I hadn't thought of it like that."

He smiled.

"I suppose you do get fair warning. It's not like babies appear out of thin air."

"No, but I must admit I'm hoping it doesn't happen too soon. I'd like you to myself for a while."

She nodded, "That would be nice."

A cough at the door interrupted them. Christy stepped back as Miss Alice stepped inside.

Neil stood up from the desk and turned to her, "Alice – you'll be glad to know I'll be resuming my lessons with Dan Scott next week."

Alice nodded, obviously a little uncomfortable about what she'd walked in on – their relaxed embrace, intimate conversation... so little really, but it was the first time she'd seen them together since knowing of their engagement, and the closeness of their friendship was so evident. It was a good thing, but not one she had been prepared to witness. "Miss Huddleston, Mrs Spencer is ready for your walk."

"Oh, great. I'll see you later." She jogged out the door, down the steps, and across the grounds to where Fairlight was waiting.

"You are glowing, Neil." Alice admonished.

He cocked his head to one side, silently asking her what the problem was.

"This won't stay a secret for long."

"No, I never imagined it would."

Alice nodded and turned to leave.

"What will Ferrand do?"

"About what?" She paused in her path.

"He'll let her keep teaching, I hope."

Alice turned to face him. "If he doesn't, what then?"

"She'll be devastated. So will the children."

"I know." Alice sighed. "I don't know what he'll do."

"Would it make a difference if I showed my face at church?"

Alice's lips twitched as she bit back a smile. "It might." She turned to go.

"Go a head and enjoy this, by the way."

"I might, at that. You are willing to be the talk of the cove, to put your pride aside, for her, just to spare her..." she shook her head. "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You do it well, Neil." She left the school house.

Neil walked to the door and looked out across the fields just in time to see Fairlight and Christy disappear over the rise.

"How did you know you were ready to marry Jeb?" Christy followed Fairlight to their spot past the treeline. She could see out over the smokies, all the way to El Pano.

"**Let me ask you a few questions. When you wake up in the morning who's the first person you think about?"**

Christy knew the answer but didn't say it aloud.

"**Who's the last person you think about before you go to sleep?"**

"**Usually one of the children." She smiled at the thought.**

**Fairlight looked disbelieving. "Who do you count on to come through in a pinch? Who makes you laugh? Who makes your blood boil, they make you so mad?"**

"**Neil MacNeil."**

**Fairlight raised her eyebrows, but not in great surprise. "Who's your best friend, Christy? Who do you tell your deepest thoughts to?"**

"Other than you?"

"Well, that's awfully nice Christy, but you aint telling me this one are you?"

Christy sighed. "Alright, but you can't tell a soul. I mean it – not even Jeb."

"I swear it."

"Neil."

Fairlight grinned. "I knew it."

"You did?"

"He's been walking around on a cloud for weeks, well, when he was here. Wait – did he go to Ashville?"

Christy didn't have time pick her words.

"He's already asked you?" Fairlight got up on her knees and scooted closer.

Christy smiled.

"You said yes?"

Christy nodded only to be enveloped in a hug.

"Oh, I thought you might, but why all the secrecy? Everyone will be so happy. That man's been alone far too long and – does this mean you're here to stay?"

"It does – but that's why it's a secret. Until my parents give their blessing we didn't want to announce it. And I still need to tell David."

"Oh."

"I think it'll be alright. I just haven't gotten around to it."

"He isn't going to like it."

"I think he's moved on. Maybe it won't bother him. It's been over a year since he proposed. He can't expect... well, I guess we'll see."

"You might want to do it on a Sunday, after church, or else we'll get a sermon on the fickleness of women."


	11. Post Series, part 1

Neil rode up to Hatties, saddle bags laden with food.

"What a pleasant surprise. Are you well, Neil?"

"I am. And yourself?"

"I'm fine. You sound like you've a grin on your face. So she said yes, then."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't mind me, I'm just speculating."

"I brought some food. I thought we might share a meal. It's been a while."

"What a lovely idea." Hattie would wait until dinner was half-cooked to get a confession out of him.

"You're my only family, Hattie. I wanted you to know, before anyone."

"Know what, Neil?"

"Miss Huddleston and I are engaged."

"Oh, that's wonderful." She reached over and found his hand, squeezing it and shaking it at the same time.

"Her parents haven't given their permission yet, but she's sure they will."

"She's a determined young woman."

"She is that."

"And she makes you happy."

"Yes, she does."

"I'm so glad, Neil. Thank you Lord for this wonderful news," she held his hand tight and kept praying. He found himself saying Amen and meaning it. If only Mr Huddleston would approve, he might even say his own prayer of thanks, unprompted by his aunt.

Meanwhile, William Huddleston reas his mail...

Dear Father,

I love you and mother, and I miss you – even George. You are my only hesitation; my only regret, that I will always be so far from you.

You ask what is in my heart. It is full of joy and hope, and so much love. I don't know how to express it on paper but I will tell you the story of how it came to be and only hope you read with a willingness to understand that overcomes my limitations.

You can imagine how I might have begun to admire Doctor MacNeil; you have seen his work. I love this place and these people, and I have worked with him to help them. We have a common cause, and though often disagreed, have supported and challenged oneanother throughout my time here.

I could not tell you when we became friends, no longer just colleagues. Neither could I tell you when I fell in love with him. It has been over a year now, and for most of that I have fought it. As you know, he was married. He believed he had been widowed and by the time he found out the truth, I already loved him. Nothing had come of it, but there it is.

Mrs MacNeil died several months ago of Tuberculosis. They had been estranged for more than three years.

I had given him up, had resolved to stay and work at this job I love for as long as I could bare it. I did not dare hope there would ever be a way for us to be together. Now that there is, I cannot bare to give him up again.

I have no wish to pain you, but must tell you truth: this place is my home. It is not an easy place to live, but my days are full of purpose and I have found a small way that I can make the world a little better. I must stay. I tell you this in case your reservations about my marrying Neil MacNeil are really only about my staying in Cutter Gap.

I wish to stay here, with him. He is my dearest friend and confidante. He challenges and comforts me, and loves me. I don't know what I will do if you refuse your consent and blessing. I keep trying to prepare myself, just in case, but I cannot figure it out. I suppose I could not stay here – but to lose Neil, and the children, and all my friends here, at once, is quite simply beyond my comprehension.

I am happy, Father. I believe with all that I am, that this is the best for me, and not only for me. This is where I belong.

We will come for Thanksgiving if invited, together.

Your devoted daughter,

Christy

Christy found David alone at breakfast. "Good morning, David."

He nodded. "There's oatmeal on the stove. Ruby Mae made me promise to leave you some."

"I'm the last one down?"

He nodded.

"Oh." She dished up a plate of oatmeal and sat down opposite David.

"It's alright. I have work to do."

"We can't eat breakfast together?"

"You want to?"

"Yes."

He smiled, "Alright."

She took a spoonful of oatmeal and found it barely warm.

David laughed at her expression. "I guess it's been there a while."

She got up and poured it back into the pot, then stoked the stove. "David, we need to mend this thing between us. I've wanted to for a while, but it was easier to just pretend like nothing was wrong – only we both know there is."

"That's my fault."

"No – I'm also to blame."

He smiled, "Alright."

She held out her hand. "Friends?"

He took it with a curt nod. "Friends."

She stirred the oatmeal.

"Perhaps we could take a walk later, catch up?" David scraped his chair back as he stood up.

"I'd like that." She watched him leave, wondering how this would go, wondering if she should tell him right away, or wait and risk him finding out some other way.

Doctor MacNeil arrived at lunch time to take afternoon lessons. Christy walked out to meet him, restrained in front of the children.

He slid off his horse and walked beside her. "I'm going to need a hand with some equipment. Do you think Zadie Spencer would like to be assistant?"

"She'd love to."

"Excellent." He led his horse into the stable and secured the reigns. "So, have you heard from your parents?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. They must have got my letter by now."

He nodded and took her hand, lifting it to his lips.

She watched him closely, then touched her free hand to his cheek, stepping up on tip toes to kiss him. They indulged, hidden in the stables. Outside the sun was blinding and in comparison the stable was dark, their eyes barely adjusted, now closed.

Neil wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against his body.

She relaxed in his arms. They were free from scrutiny so rarely. For a few minutes she wouldn't hold back. She found herself lifted, pressed into the stable wall. It was rough and solid, and it was the only thing she was aware of except for the man holding her there, kissing her, running his hands down her arms, and back up again, to her neck, her hair.

"No," she tore her lips from his, about to protest any messing of her hair, given she had to stand in front of the children again in such a short time. But she didn't get the chance.

Neil was pulled away, grabbed by the shoulders and thrown against the door. David!

He punched him in the jaw before Neil managed to duck. David lost his balance as his second shot missed, stumbled, found his footing, and then Neil.

"No, don't." Christy jumped in between them. "What are you doing?" She yelled at David.

"Defending you."

"I don't need defending!"

"Right." David tried to get around her.

"What do you think was happening here?" Neil taunted David – perhaps knowing that the truth would sting more than a good right hook.

"You were taking advantage."

"No, he wasn't." Christy stayed between them.

David seemed to deflate, stepping back, arms now hanging limp at his sides. "What?"

"I didn't know how to tell you," Christy began. "I didn't want you to find out like this."

"We're engaged, man." Neil cleared up any confusion. "It's not public yet, so if you could avoid preaching a sermon against it, that'd be much appreciated."

David took another step back then looked at Christy. "I knew it – you... this is a mistake. You'll see."

Christy shook her head, "No David. You deserve someone who is completely and utterly crazy about you. She's out there waiting for you someplace. And the both of you, and the both of us, would have regretted it if you and I had..."

David wasn't looking at Christy any more. He was staring daggers at Neil. "You can't give her what she needs – you're not even a believer! You're only going to hurt her – and everyone else. You think you love her? The loving thing to do here would be to let her go."

"David, no." Christy couldn't bare the hurt this might be causing Neil.

David stormed out and she watched him for a moment before turning back to Neil.

He leaned against the door and slid down to sit on the floor.

She knelt down in front of him and watched him gingerly finger his cheek. "Not bad."

"Are you okay?"

He nodded. "I'll be fine."

"It's not true – what he said."

He nodded, not very convincingly.

She exhaled, searching his face, imploring him to believe her.

"I probably shouldn't stick around – the children will wonder why the shiner and as much as I'd like to get Grantland in a spot of trouble, I think..."

"It's fine. I have plenty I can do with them."

He picked himself up off the floor and went over to Charlie, untying the reigns.

She watched. "If you tried to let me go, I'd hang around like a bad smell until you gave in and took me back again."

He chuckled but didn't turn to face her.

She put a hand on his arm. "You'd never hurt me."

"Not on purpose," he turned.

"Alright – so on accident – and I'll probably hurt you too. But we'll mend it."

He looked unconvinced.

"We argue all the time – and it probably won't be a lot less for living in the same cabin – but we always make up, and we're better for it. The alternative would be dishonesty, pretending to agree, saying what we think the other wants to hear – we'd only end up resenting oneanother." She stroked his cheek. "Plus, making-up can be fun."

He laughed outright. "You can be very convincing when you put your mind to it."

"Why do you think I'm so confident we'll always make amends?"

He looked around to check they didn't have an audience then kissed her, with great restraint. "I'd better go."

She nodded and stepped away. "I'll find you as soon as I hear from my parents."

David was surly and quiet. He put some effort into a facade of friendly nonchalance when Miss Alice returned, but he wasn't very convincing.

Christy tried to get on with things as usual. It wasn't so different, after all. Things had been strained between her and David for months. If it was worse now it had little effect on her work. Meal times were not quiet – Ruby Mae was still around and with a little encouragement, intentional or not, from Christy or Miss Alice, the girl kept up the conversation. David invariably retired early, or Christy beat him to it.

Miss Alice found Christy standing on the porch, staring at the moon, one evening after dinner. David hadn't said a word all evening, except his excuses when he left them as soon as his plate was cleared.

"David is aware of your arrangement, I take it." Miss Alice jumped straight to the crux of it.

Christy nodded. "It was awful."

"He has tendered his resignation."

"What?"

"Thou art surprised? I suppose he was when he heard your news too." Alice shook her head. "I never expected him to stay here forever. Did you?"

"I suppose not."

"Mind you, I never expected thee to stay forever either."

"If I had married him I would have left with him, perhaps not so soon, but eventually."

Alice nodded. "Change comes as a surprise – but it should not. It is one of only a few things that are truly certain."

Christy sighed.

"Cold comfort."

"Indeed. I feel responsible. Perhaps if I had talked to him, explained. The way he found out was horrible. He has done so much good here, and now to leave? Because of me?"

"Thee take much upon thyself."

"I hurt him. Is that not why he's leaving?"

"That is not what he wrote in his letter of resignation."

"Oh."

"God's purpose will not be foiled by your actions, Miss Huddleston, nor by David's. Trust Him."

"I am trying."

Alice put her hand on Christy's shoulder for a moment, then left her.

Her father's letter, when it arrived, did not resolve the anxiety that she had been feeling ever since David's discovery of her engagement. Before that, she had felt certain her Father must give his approval. He must. But since then the doubts had begun to creep in. Every stolen kiss had started to feel just that: stolen, like it might be forbidden any moment.

She read it over again, trying to discern his tone and feeling -

Dearest Christy,

Please do come for Thanksgiving, and bring Doctor MacNeil. You are both invited. I have informed your mother of your desire to marry. She was not pleased, as you undoubtedly expected. But we are desirous to see you in person, and will discuss the matter further at that time.

Yours faithfully,

Wm. Huddleston.

Neil assured her this was to be expected. "They want to see you happy, Christy. And they will," he ran his thumb across her forehead, "so long as you stop worrying and smile some."

She smiled and turned away, looking out from his porch.

"I know what you need." He went inside and she turned to see him return, fishing rod in hand. He handed her the rod, "Well? You know the way." Nudging her towards the steps, he followed her down to the river.

He taught her how to tie on the fly, how to cast, how to keep a catch on the line and reel it in. They did it over and over till she could do it by herself. He returned to the house and returned with another line, wading out into the river to cast off.

She watched him move the line, so gracefully, so practised. She tried to do it with the same smooth certainty but he caught several fish, letting them go each time, before she even caught one.

When she did he put his line aside and talked her through reeling it in.

"He's a good size. Does he look like dinner, do you think?"

"That would be lovely."

Neil handed her a knife, "You may not think so in a minute."

"Oh, it's alright. I've had enough lessons for one day."

He shook his head. "When I'm away for days," he opened her hand and placed the knife handle in her palm, "will you live only on vegetables?"

"I can manage." She resignedly took hold of the knife and crouched down on the stones.

He held out the fish and explained what to do, and gingerly, she did it. Two raggedy edged filets were the result.

"Beautiful, Miss Huddleston." Neil Splashed river water onto the bloodied stones.

"No they're not."

He grinned. "You are – and the fish tastes the same, really, no matter how you cut it."

"Fortunately."

They walked back to the cabin and Neil stoked the fire while Christy prepared some vegetables. It was a glimpse into the future. Though neither said so, they both thought of it, and longed for it.

They made plans for travelling to Ashville, while they cooked and ate.

Neil saddled up Charlie but the walked him all the way to the Mission, savouring the time.

"Perhaps we should make it public knowledge." Neil said, as they stepped out into the clearing, the Mission house facing them on the opposite side.

"I thought we were waiting for my parents..."

"We were – but they've invited us to visit them together, to travel together. I know its less than a day's travel, but no matter how far we're going, we are leaving the cove together."

She nodded, knowing the Cove gossips needed less fuel than that to get the fires going.

"We can let them speculate for a week or two, but it would be simpler just to tell them the truth."

"You're right. You're absolutely right. I suppose I'm dreading further disapproval."

He laughed and pulled her close. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised then."

"How do you announce an engagement when there's no newspaper?"

"You get the gossips to work for you. Who do you want to tell?"

"I already told Fairlight – but I could tell her there's no need to keep it a secret any more."

"I told Hattie. Our confidants are not the ones who'll do this. Ruby Mae?"

"That would make it quick, but I feel for David. I wish we could wait till he'd left."

"When is that?"

"For Thanksgiving. Around the same time we do."

"If it were before..."

"I'm not sure. He'll announce on Sunday."

"That was the other option – walking up to church hand-in-hand."

She smiled, wondering if he was kidding.

"Maybe we wait – to announce – until your father has given his permission, assuming he does; wait until after Thanksgiving. And before then we just tell a few more people, in confidence. If it gets around, then so be it."

"And we don't embarrass David." She brushed her fingertips against his cheek, the bruise fading, yellow and grey-toned and disappearing into two day's stubble.

But in the rush to wrap up school projects and make some visits before she left, she never got to telling anyone new. She walked with Fairlight the day before she would depart for Ashville, up bear ridge, crunching ice and snow under their boots as they went.

"This will be the last time till spring – the ice gets so thick up here we'll just slide right down the hill if we try it 'afore then."

"Do you have a secret winter spot to show me when I get back?"

Fairlight thought, "I might be able to think of something. Have to make sure you do come back."

"No you don't."

"True – Neil MacNeil does a better job of that than I do."

Christy laughed. "Oh, I don't know. If he does you're a very close second."

They sat on the rock until it was too cold to sit still any more. Then they wandered, enjoying every sight and sound, the cold fresh air and smell of sodden dead leaves under their feet.

"Do you think you'll marry in Ashville?"

"If my mother has a say in the matter."

"Everyone'll be so disappointed."

"We could just pretend we hadn't done it already and get married here as well."

Fairlight laughed. "You could."

Christy wondered what Neil would think, as they clambered down the mountain. "But who would marry us? David's leaving and we don't have a replacement yet."

"Maybe just a great big party then." Fairlight skipped down the last steep part of the slope.

Christy went to follow her lead and tripped.

"Oh, are you alright?" Fairlight knelt beside her.

Christy lifted her face from the dirt, laughing, pushed her hands into the forrest floor and sat up.

Fairlight laughed too – her friend was covered in mud and leaves. She offered a hand and stood up, pulling Christy with her.

"Ow! Oh no." Christy sighed, trying to put weight on her ankle. "Oh this is fantastic. Just when I want to show my parents that this is a perfectly sensible, safe-as-anywhere place to live, I go and twist my ankle."

"Can you walk?"

Christy beckoned Fairlight closer and put her arm around her shoulder. Slowly, between fits of giggles and rest stops, leaning against trees, they made their way to Doctor MacNeil's.

"What in the world?" He got up from his seat at the sight of her.

"I'm fine, Neil. I think I just twisted my ankle."

"Where were you climbing today?"

"Just the usual – up bear ridge."

"It's pretty slippery up there this time of year."

"No kidding." Christy hobbled to a chair and sat down, ignoring Neil's head-shaking, be it from disapproval or disbelief.

"Well, let's see then." He knelt down and unlaced her boot.

"Maybe I should..." Fairlight sidled up to him awkwardly.

He nodded, "I'll get some snow." He grabbed a sack and went outside.

Fairlight helped her take off her stocking and then pulled a chair over.

"Thank you." Christy rubbed at her face. "Am I completely covered in dirt?"

Fairlight laughed, "Not quite – I can still tell it's you."

Neil returned and thanked Fairlight.

"Do you want me to stay – walk you back to the mission?"

"Miss Huddleston won't be walking anywhere – not tonight anyway. It's alright Fairlight, I can take her back."

"If you're sure – it's just the young'ns'll be wanting me."

"Don't worry about me, Fairlight. Thank you for a lovely walk – for the most part."

"Alright, have a great time in Ashville. Good luck." She squeezed Christy's hand and then left them.

Neil knelt down and placed her ankle in his lap. "You have a remarkable sense of timing. What'll your parents say now?"

"I know. That was my first thought too."

He flexed her foot back, watching her face and easing off when she winced. "I'll strap it and pack it in ice, and then we'll get you back home where you can keep it elevated all night, and with any luck you'll be able to walk tomorrow – with a little help."

"Good thing I'm not travelling alone then."

"If you want to lean on my arm you needn't injure yourself, Christy, just go right ahead."


	12. Post series, part 2

She didn't sleep much that night, between nervous anticipation and the discomfort from the weight of the blankets on her foot. She dozed on the train, and when she woke they were half an hour from Ashville. She was hungry and impatient to arrive.

She wriggled in her seat.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded then shrugged under Neil's intent gaze. "I'm hungry."

He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and unwrapped it to reveal a thick piece of gingerbread. It was like a magic trick, and received a similar reaction from Christy. They shared the gingerbread and then they were moving through the outer parts of the city and Christy told him of places she'd been as a child, and more recently. It was strange to her that this place had once been her home – she had so many memories here – but much as she liked coming back to visit, there was nothing like that sigh of relief, that simple rest that comes from arriving home.

Both her parents had come to meet them. She saw them through the window before the steam billowed, filling the space between them with a seemingly-impenetrable white cloud.

They waited for the other passengers to leave, then Neil helped her to her feet. She used the seat-backs as crutches and he carried their bags, following her closely.

She didn't wait for him, hopping and hobbling into her Father's waiting arms.

"What have you done to yourself?"

"Oh it's nothing. Just a twist – not even so bad as that summer after I finished school, at the church picnic. Do you remember?" She hugged her mother, "In the three-legged race? That was much worse."

"Doctor MacNeil." Mr Huddleston held out his hand as Neil put their bags down.

"Mr Huddleston, Mrs Huddleston." Neil nodded and shook hands, genial as ever.

"How was your journey?" Christy took her mother's arm, limping along side her and leaving Neil to her father.

"I slept – which I am glad of. I was so impatient to get here and see you both, it couldn't have gone fast enough."

Mrs Huddleston laughed and squeezed her daughter's hand. "Are you sure you're alright to walk my dear? Perhaps your father could bring the carriage around."

"I'm fine, Mother. So long as I walk funny it barely hurts at all. Don't mind me – I want to hear all your news."

That was invitation enough. A few sideways glances of barely-veiled concern, and they were on their way.

Christy had half-expected to be swamped with visitors, a not-so-sly attempt to remind her of all the things she might miss in Ashville if she really did mean to leave for good. But the house was quiet when they arrived. After they ate her Father stood and invited Doctor MacNeil to his study for a brandy.

Christy saw this for what it was – a conference with her mother. As the door shut behind them she braced herself.

"I understand, I do." Her mother pulled the bell for tea.

Christy waited for the 'but'.

"I don't know him well, but he's clearly a good man, easy to like and respect."

"Actually, I didn't like him much when I first met him."

Julia Huddleston turned, surprised. "Really?"

"No. He challenged me and called me out on my naivete. I thought I was all grown-up and he made me feel like a child. But it made me think, made me reconsider what I thought and believed and I'm so much better for it."

"I know there's nothing I can say to change your mind."

"Thank you." Christy nodded and took her mother's hand. "I am happy, Mother."

"Of course you are. You're in love. No one can look at you without seeing it."

Christy grinned and then it faded as she watched her mother's expression change.

"But that isn't enough – not for long anyway. What when you have children? Doctor MacNeil's work must be demanding and I remember feeling isolated **here** when you were born – here! Not fifty yards from neighbours and only a short walk to parks and shops and friends. I just can't imagine – and I'm not sure you can – what it is you're signing up for."

"I have lived there through every season, and I'm aware how demanding Neil's work is. I have friends there."

Her mother nodded, unconvinced. "And your children?"

"Will have wonderful adventures and learn so many things, and be oh-so-loved."

"But wouldn't they be safer here?"

"In the smog and smoke? I know there are dangers – but there are dangers here too. And there'll always be a doctor on hand." She sighed, "I know. There are risks. And I hate to do this to you and Daddy, to always be away from you, to let you worry and miss me. But we'll visit, and you'll visit us."

"Like you do now."

"Yes." She saw this was the wrong answer. "More often?"

"Christy, let's not promise things that will never happen. We won't see you every holiday this year, the next, or ever. Not while you live in Cutter Gap."

"Alright. That's true."

"But we can visit you more – especially now that your father is working less."

"Of course." This was progress. "Does this mean you'll give us your blessing?"

Her mother sighed. "I wish you would reconsider. Life is going to be so hard there. And he's so much older than you, so much more..."

"What?"

"Worldly, I suppose."

"You mean that he's been married before."

"That's only part of it."

Christy got up and hobbled to the window, staring out at the garden in the fading dusk. "What is it that you are afraid of?"

"I don't want you to regret this. What if you simply run out of things to talk about? It's not as if there are a whole lot of other people around."

"Mother..."

"No, I'm serious. I know you can't imagine it but one day it will happen and then what?"

"Enough. Would your warnings be the same if Neil were a city doctor with a practise in Ashville? His dedication to his people is part of what I love about him. I won't ask him to leave them – and I have no intention of doing so myself. As to the rest – every marriage has its challenges and we've had a fair few already. We are closer and stronger for it." Christy sat on the window seat. Putting weight on her foot hurt and, much as she wanted to flee the room, she knew she'd make a pathetic exit, if she made it at all. "Are you going to refuse to give us your blessing just to punish me for finding a home someplace other than here, for choosing a life so different from yours?"

"That is not why."

"But you are going to refuse?"

Julia Huddleston turned away.

Christy stood and, summoning determination, left the room. She sat down on the stairs, three steps up, where she'd given up her assent.

She heard the men leave the study, braced herself for their reaction to her situation.

"I don't suppose either of you gentlemen could assist me upstairs. I was on my way, but as it is..." She spoke before they had a chance.

"Of course." Neil helped her to standing, then looked to her Father and hesitated, standing on the steps with his arm around Christy. He removed his hands from her waist.

"I'll escort you upstairs Christy." Mr Huddleston intervened.

She looked back at Neil for a moment. He hovered in the hall, clearly uncertain of himself.

There were a million thoughts to occupy her mind but she was tired and went to sleep uncharacteristically fast. She was woken by the cold very early in the morning, and got under the covers. But then she was awake. She gave up on sleep before it got light, dressed and went to her father's study. The fire was lit there early – just in case her father got an early start, which he often did. She was glad to find the room empty and warm. She sat on the hearth rug and watched the flames, mesmerised.

Her father found her asleep there. He brought her coffee and placed it on the table, then opened the curtains. The light made her stir. She turned, saw him, sat up and apologised.

"That's quite alright. I've done the same thing once or twice."

She got up and sat on the couch.

"Coffee's for you."

"Thank you."

"I thought you might appreciate it – and I wanted a word."

"Yes?"

"Your mother was very upset yesterday evening."

Christy put down the coffee. It was too hot anyway.

"She has not known of this for very long, and she is just now coming to accept it. Give her time."

"She has known for weeks. Did I give you any idea that I could be talked out of this, that this was some childish whim, a foolish, unconsidered..." She shook her head. "I love you Daddy, I love you both, and I don't want to hurt you, but don't you see? I love him too. Your rejection of him, your disapproval hurts me."

He nodded once. "We only want what is best for you."

"And which of Ashville's charming bachelors takes the cake?"

"There isn't anyone..."

"I am so tired of justifying this, Daddy. I fell in love with a good, kind man, who loves me. You could not ask for better for me. I am certain of it."

He sat down beside her, took her hand in his own. "One day you will have to let your children run their own lives, and then you will understand how difficult this is for us."

"Be happy for me, Daddy."

He smiled and squeezed her hand. "I'm always happier with a full stomach. Shall we?"

She leaned on his arm and they joined the others at breakfast.

Preparations for thanksgiving filled the next day. Christy was relieved to have conversations full of frivolity, and spent much of her time rearranging the table and writing up place cards. Food preparations filled Thanksgiving morning and then their guests arrived. The meal was wonderful and Christy jumped from one conversation to another, catching up with friends and family she'd not seen in months.

She was beginning to wonder if her mother was somehow keeping her busy and away from Neil, but when she looked for him he always seemed contentedly engaged in conversation, and then, that evening, he was simply nowhere to be seen. She crept out and looked for him. He wasn't inside downstairs and she wasn't up to taking the stairs on her own, so she put on a jacket and went out into the garden. She heard him before she saw him, and halted in her path.

"If it really is for the best – what do I know? I so want to be the best thing for her, but more than that I want do the best thing for her and if that means leaving her here, then show me somehow, give me the courage and strength to do it. I just don't have it. Please, God, just show me what to do."

Was he crying? She stepped forward unintentionally, and the sound of her footstep alerted him to someone's presence. He stiffened.

She came out from behind the roses. "Hi."

"Oh, it's you."

"You were planning on meeting someone else out here under the stars?"

He smiled. "You look lovely. You didn't bring this dress to Cutter Gap."

"I stand out enough as it is, but thank you."

He reached out and touched her cheek. "Ashville suits you."

"A tuxedo suits you." She touched his lapel. "But there isn't much occasion for one in the Cove. Perhaps you could just keep it here. There's some room in my wardrobe."

"Christy, maybe we shouldn't..."

"No one's out here. It's freezing. And there's no one here who'll punch you for kissing me."

"That's not what I meant."

She ran her hands up his chest. "You couldn't leave me here, even if you wanted to. And I have it on good authority that you don't."

"You heard me?"

She nodded.

He looked at her, pained. "What if they're right? I can't bare to divide you from your family, from your home."

"In a way, that happened the day I decided to stay in Cutter Gap. You might be their scapegoat but it isn't your fault and it isn't your decision."

"You are so..."

"What?"

"Headstrong."

"You're one to talk."

"You really want to butt heads with me forever?"

"I really do." she stood up on tip-toe, on one foot, and ran her fingers up into his hair, pulling his head down to rest on hers.

He gave in and kissed her.

They returned to the party, flushed faced, from the cold... or something.

"There was a telegram for you, Doctor," Mrs Huddleston's tone of disapproval was unmistakable.

Neil went to the study, as directed, and found his letter.

Christy went to find him a short while later. The study was empty, the garden as well. That left the upstairs. Gritting her teeth she hopped and hobbled, with great reliance on the banister, to the top of the stairs, just in time to see Neil exit his room, bag in hand.

"Where are you going?"

"I was coming to find you."

"You're leaving?"

"I have to."

"Neil, please don't do this."

"It's not what you think." He put down his bag and took hold of her arms, seeing her wobble on her feet. "I'm not leaving you," he kissed her, the most efficient way to assure her of the truth of his words. "There have been cases of Typhoid in the cove – Alice wrote two days ago. Here." He gave her the letter.

"I can be ready in half an hour," she pulled away from him, "ten minutes," she corrected.

"I want you to stay here."

"I can help. There'll be extra work to do. You'll need all the help you can get. Let me go."

He held her tight. "Please, please don't. I can't bare to risk you getting sick. Knowing you're safe here, I can work hard and focus. Please, Christy. I'm begging you."

She sighed and stopped fighting him. "Alright."

"Really?"

She nodded. "When's the train?"

"First thing in the morning."

"You should get some sleep. You know you won't when you get home."

He was about to argue but stopped himself, seeing the wisdom in her words. He stroked her cheek, "Very true."

"Did Miss Alice say who...?" Christy remembered the letter and opened it.

"No, no names. She says three cases – two in one family, one in another. That means it's already spread. And you know what the sanitation is like in some cabins." He shook his head, "If we can keep this from becoming an epidemic it will be a miracle."

"Then we'll pray for a miracle."

He nodded then picked up his bag with one hand and put his other arm around her to help her walk. She hobbled alongside him to his door. He put his bag inside then returned to her. "The train leaves at six."

She nodded and stepped into his arms, wrapping her self around his shoulders and burrowing her face into his neck.

"It's okay." He held her tight.

"Be careful."

"Of course."

"Are there any supplies you need? Can I send things to you?"

"I'll write as soon as I get a chance."

She sighed and loosened her grip on him, leaning back just enough to see him. She held his face between her hands, stroking the familiar lines, memorizing the look in his eyes – adoration, desire. She was the object and she felt so fortunate. "Alright. I should let you get some sleep."

He leaned in and kissed her, clearly intending to be brief, but as he pulled away she reached up and kissed him again.

Tiredness, uncertainty, anxiety... there were any number of reasons. They clung to oneanother as if to life itself, forgetting their circumstances, forgetting everything except the warmth and strength of the embrace.

Kisses softened, slowed, as they fumbled for self-control, but still he didn't let her go. He whispered, "I love you" into her hair, "I'll let you know as soon as it's safe to return."

She nodded, trailing her fingers down from his temple to his lips, where he kissed them. "Sleep well."

He let her go, and with a chaste, final kiss, left her there in the hall. She considered returning to the party, but the hall and the stairs were an obstacle she lacked the determination to overcome. She hopped across to a seat, from where she could see half-way down the stairs. She listened to the hum of conversation, the tinkling of music and tea cups on saucers.

"Not bad news, I hope," her father spotted her from part-way up the stairs.

"Doctor MacNeil is needed back in Cutter Gap. Typhoid." She didn't see much point in hiding the truth.

"You're staying here."

"Yes Daddy."

"Really?"

She smiled at his surprise. "Neil insisted."

"Good."

She felt the scrutiny of her father's eyes.

"He loves you very much."

"I know."

"I could not have parted with you to anyone less deserving." [1]

She hugged her father and, from then on, found herself enjoying the evening more than expected.

* * *

><p>[1] Totally stole this line from Mr Bennet in Pride and Prejudice. My bad.<p> 


	13. Post Series, part 3

It was the longest three weeks of her life, waiting for word on Cutter Gap. She'd asked around, done some research, spent her allowance and sent supplies where she could not go herself. Catching up with friends was enjoyable and she fell into the habits of city life easily. But whenever she wasn't busy she longed for the mountains. She tried not to imagine what was happening, she couldn't bare to consider the possibilities. She hadn't seen Typhoid, but her research had scared her. It was unlikely to pass through without leaving casualties.

A letter finally arrived – from Miss Alice. Christy was at breakfast with her mother and tore it open without ceremony.

"Is everything alright?" Her mother asked before she had a chance to read, let alone understand, what it said.

Dear Miss Huddleston,

Thou art aware that there have been cases of Typhoid here in Cutter Gap. Daniel Scott and I managed as best we could with the first few cases. The families struggled of course and when two more cases presented we made the mission our hospital. Doctor MacNeil arrived soon after and has worked so hard – thee can imagine, I am sure.

Unfortunately, hard work can only do so much. Fairlight Spencer fell ill, then Zady and Ruby Mae. The girls are well again, recovering slowly but surely. Fairlight was weak from over-work and was worse than the others from the outset. She did not recover and is now with the Lord. I know how this will wound you, my dear. There was nothing any of us could have done.

Christy couldn't make sense of the words.

"What is it, my dear?" her mother moved beside her and took her hand, "What has happened?"

"Fairlight – oh." Christy blinked, trying to read the rest of the letter. Her eyes found Neil's name and seemed to snap back into focus.

"Doctor MacNeil was the last to fall ill. The worst seems to have passed for everyone, except Neil. We are working and waiting, praying and hoping. This is the first chance I have had to write to you and I confess, I am hoping you will return. He needs you here. There have been no new cases since he fell ill three days ago. I believe it is safe for you to return but you must decide for yourself.

Yours in faith,

Alice Henderson.

"I have to go, Mother. I have to pack." She got up from the table, about to run to her room. Her ankle was almost healed but running was not yet an option. She limped, speedily, through the house, filled her suitcase.

Her mother stood in the doorway, watching her yank on the zipper frustratedly.

"The next train is not till one o'clock. Let's make sure you have everything you will need."

Christy sat back on the bed, deflated.

Her mother unzipped the suitcase, the zipper now cooperating, of course, and emptied the contents onto the bed, refolding each dress before returning it to the case. "Now, there's some space here – what do you think would be helpful?"

"I don't know – I sent linens and soap."

"Linens and soap it is. What can recovering patients eat, do you know?"

"Not much – liquids only."

"Vegetables for soup. I'll have someone collect some from the garden. Do you want to take a cane?"

Christy shook her head. "Thank you mother."

Christy zipped up her case, now packed tightly and neatly.

"Jell-O – just the thing!" Her mother entered her room holding half-a-dozen packets.

"Mother..."

"No – you couldn't get enough of it when you were younger and it's the perfect treat. Think of Ruby Mae."

Christy looked at her mother in wonder.

"It's the little I can do. I telephoned your father and told him you're leaving. I will take you to the station."

"Thank you."

"That's quite enough. No thanks are necessary. You are my daughter, my only daughter," she had tears in her eyes, "I am sorry I didn't – I should have been happy for you. I hope Doctor MacNeil gets well. Your father and I – you have our blessing."

She hugged her mother tightly.

"I love you my darling."

"I love you too, Mama."

Christy left her suitcase at the station at El Pano. She wished she'd been more active since she'd been away, as she reached the half-way point between the town and the mission, lungs and legs aching. Her ankle throbbed. It was strapped tightly, just like Neil had shown her, but strapping could only do so much.

When she got to the mission it was getting dark. She ran as soon as it was in sight. The lights in the windows were welcoming but as she hit the steps she was suddlenly nervous of what she might find inside.

Knocking, she let herself in. "Hello?"

"How can I help?" Miss Alice's voice preceded her. "Oh, Christy!" She enveloped her friend in an embrace.

"How is he?"

"We've done everything we can. I hope he's over the worst of it but there could still be complications. There's been no change today. "

"Can I see him?" Christy walked to the bottom of the stairs.

"Of course – did you walk all the way from... of course you did? Your ankle is – here, let me help." Alice put her arm around Christy and helped her up the stairs.

Neil looked so pale and thin, she stopped in her path. He had dark circles under his eyes and appeared to be sleeping. His forehead glistened but his lips were dry.

She sat on the chair by his bed.

"Call me if you need anything." Alice whispered and left them.

Christy watched him sleep, silently begging God to heal him, her pleas repeating like a mantra in her head. She watched his chest rise and fall, desperately wanting to touch him but knowing he needed to rest. She shouldn't wake him.

She fell asleep in the chair, woken hours later by a groan. Out of the chair, she stood over him, watching him move under the covers, then relax.

She exhaled and sat down again.

He brought his hand to his face and rubbed his eyes. "Water?"

She saw he had a full cup on the bedside table. "You'll have to sit up to drink."

He opened his eyes at the sound of her voice. "You- your-"

"Don't talk. Let me help you sit up." She put her arms around him, disturbed by how thin he felt, and lifting him, arranged the pillows to support him. Sitting on the bed beside him, she held the cup to his lips. After a few sips she put it down again. She touched his forehead, his cheek. "How do you feel?"

His eyes seemed to heavy to keep open. He reached out, found her hand, held it tight. "Everything aches. My head."

She squeezed his hand. "It's going to be alright."

"You shouldn't be here."

"I'm fine. No one else is sick anymore."

He opened his eyes again and smiled at the sight of her. "I dreamed about you."

"What was I doing?" She touched his face again.

"Waiting by the river – waiting for me. I couldn't get across though, and you couldn't see me. I kept shouting but you didn't hear."

"It's okay, I'm here."

He held her hand tight but let his eyes shut again. "I never wrote to you. I started but..."

"It's okay. Just rest now." She brushed her fingers against his forehead, pushing back strands of hair that stuck there with sweat.

"Your hands are cool – so nice."

She kept on caressing his face as he drifted back to sleep.

Miss Alice came in early in the morning, still the middle of the night. "My turn to sit with him." She explained. "Did he wake at all?"

Christy nodded. "He had a little water. He's so warm."

Alice stuck a thermometer under his arm and held it there. "You should rest."

Reluctantly, she stood. "Wake me if anything..."

"I will." Miss Alice lifted the thermometer so she could read it by candle-light. "A hundred and three."

Christy looked from Alice to Neil, and back to Alice, then left. Her room was not the same as she'd left it. Her bed had been moved nearer to the window so that more, temporary beds could fit on the floor. They were gone now, but the space remained. She undressed and got into bed. She could see the stars – she would leave her bed there.

The days were full with work. Everything had to be boiled – dishes, linens, clothing. They cleaned constantly, and then there were all the usual chores – and fewer hands to help. Dan Scott worked alongside Christy and Alice, keeping the mission house warm and its inhabitants fed and clothed. Ruby Mae and Zady were in David's old room, restless and hungry constantly. Christy gave them school work to do but their concentration wasn't up to it. They couldn't help with even the most sedentary chores as they probably still carried bacteria and there was no point boiling all the laundry and dishes only to have it re-infected by carelessness and boredom.

Christy longed for the shifts she spent with Neil. She watched him sleep, read to him, tried to feed him broth, though he barely took any. Seeing him like this made her ache with fear and love and longing. She knew to keep her distance – he could infect her yet if she wasn't careful. He would have taken every precaution but he'd still gotten ill. She scrubbed her hands in the basin. Her skin was pink and calloused, nails short. She thought of her friends in Ashville, their perfect manicures and soft skin. She looked at Neil's hands, resting on the covers above his stomach. They were strong and brown, rough and scarred – but they could be so gentle and delicate, could work miracles. Once she'd valued pretty, useless hands, and now these were the dearest in the world. It was difficult to reconcile the person she had been when she'd first arrived in Cutter Gap, with the person she was now.


	14. Finale

Neil improved daily. He ate soup for Christmas dinner, but he did so in the dining room. On New Years day he chopped firewood. Christy watched him from the porch, concern etched into her features. He panted and fumbled it, but persisted. That evening, he proposed returning to his cabin.

Christy was about to protest but Miss Alice beat her to it.

"You chopped enough firewood to boil a single pot of water Neil. I can't spare Christy to cook and clean for you – not yet. There's no hurry to leave."

Ruby Mae looked from Christy to the Doctor, "What do you mean, Miss Alice? Not yet? It's no secret they're sweet on eachother but I didn't realise... Oh lordy."

Miss Alice put her hand to her mouth, an apologetic look in her eyes as she looked from Christy to Neil.

"It's alright," Christy smiled wryly, "My parents gave their blessing – there's no need to keep it a secret anymore."

"Oh lordy! Teacher's gonna marry the Doc! This is the best news ever." Ruby Mae pushed her chair back and hugged Christy, then bounced from the room.

Neil laughed. "And that is how you announce an engagement in Cutter Gap."

They were married in Cutter Gap in March. The snow was melting, crocuses dotting the hillsides. Miss Alice officiated. After so much loss, celebrating life was the natural response, healing and faith-restoring to every witness. The Huddlestons looked out of place, but celebrated without reservation.

"This is not how I imagined your wedding would be." Julia Huddleston, took Christy's arm and tugged her away from the crowd.

It was warm in the sun and they walked, holding shawls around their shoulders, arm in arm. "I know, Mother."

"But it was beautiful. I don't know how I missed it, but you grew up." She fingered Christy's hair. "No wonder the Doctor can't keep his eyes off you."

Christy smiled.

"We'll visit in the summer – or you could come to us. I'm sure Doctor MacNeil would like a guided tour of Ashville. So long as you're the guide, perhaps."

She nodded, "That might be the secret ingredient, yes."

"I must admit, this place is growing on me. I am looking forward to a few of the comforts at home, but leaving you is always hard."

"When do you go?"

"Tomorrow afternoon."

"So soon?"

"You'll want fewer visitors for a while," the older woman smiled, cheeky and knowing.

* * *

><p>It was toasty under the covers and freezing everywhere else – well, the couple inches of forehead that she dared expose. She rolled from side to side, cocooning herself in blankets. Neil wasn't beside her, but a moment alone was nice – to blush without an audience, remembering the night past. It was a bewildering adjustment. She had to remind herself not to feel guilty, that she was allowed to grin stupidly at the recollection, and the anticipation.<p>

She wanted to see him. Half out of bed, she realized she wasn't dressed. Her clothes were in the closet, her nightgown must be there too. Her wedding dress was draped not-so-carefully over a chair. She wrapped the blanket around herself and went to the wardrobe.

"Christy?"

She looked around the wardrobe door. Neil grinned when he saw her.

"Goodmorning." He held out a cup of tea.

"Thank you." She held the blanket in place with one hand, and took the tea cup.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Very well." She could barely drink for smiling.

"This is an interesting dress." He reached out, hands tentative on her waist.

She blushed.

"Making you blush is a new favourite hobby of mine."

"Can't be very challenging."

"No, but life's full of challenges. I'll take easy when it comes." He rubbed her arm. "Are you cold?"

"A little – that's why I was looking for a dress."

"You could just go back to bed."

"That seems kind of lazy. What's the time?"

"Don't know – does it matter?" He guided her back to bed, putting the tea cup on her bedside table, then climbing in beside her. "It's not a bad dress." He unwrapped it to cover himself as well as her. His bare feet were cold against hers. "Obviously I'd prefer you without it."

She giggled and cuddled up to him, as much to avoid being looked at. "Nonetheless I should probably get dressed most mornings."

He sighed, comically disappointed. "Okay, you can wear the blanket dress."

"What if someone came to the door?"

"I'll tell them to go away. You're on your honeymoon – if not now, then when?"

"What if it's an emergency? You should probably start getting used to the idea of my wearing actual clothes."

"But I was just starting to get used to your not wearing them."

She poked him in the ribs and he grabbed her hand, kissing her fingers. She wriggled away to get her cup of tea, sitting up just enough to drink it, blanket tucked securely under her arms.

He lay on his side and watched her. "It is somewhat surreal, having you here."

She nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. It was quite the mental adjustment. This was now her bed – her bedroom. Her clothes were hung up in the closet next to Neil's trousers. Strange. So strange. Wonderful, but strange. She finished her tea and put the cup down. "Oh, I didn't think – you must be hungry."

"I could eat. You must be hungry too. I suppose I'll have to let you get dressed some time." He lay back, as if waiting for her to get on with it, right there in front of him.

She rolled toward him, "Neil, maybe you could..." she couldn't think of an excuse for privacy.

"I haven't had my eyes closed, Christy."

"I know, it's just... all very new."

He smiled, touched her cheek, her hair. "I'll start on breakfast."

"You don't have to."

"It's alright. Take your time." He kissed her and left.

She dressed quickly and found him chopping mushrooms. There was a fire blazing in the hearth and it was a few degrees warmer as soon as she stepped through from their bedroom into the living room. "What can I do?"

He handed her two eggs and a fork. "Omlette?"

"Sounds good. I'm so hungry. What time is it?"

He looked over her shoulder to the clock on the mantlepiece. "Ten to Ten."

"That's not so bad."

"No, considering how little sleep you got. Sorry, couldn't resist."

She'd have plenty of opportunity to learn to stop herself from blushing if he continued the way he was going. "How long have you been up?"

"Not long – I made a fire and a pot of tea." He shrugged. "I didn't want you to be cold when you woke up."

"Thank you. Between the fire and the tea you've set the standard pretty high for a morning routine."

"I remember you once saying you found it hard getting up in the morning."

She smiled – a strange, but kind of sweet thing for him to remember – and added milk to her beaten eggs.

"But you were up before I got through bringing your tea to bed."

"I was coming to find you. If you'd been in bed when I'd woken up I doubt I'd have been up so soon."

He grinned.

They put together a breakfast of kings and ate by the fire.

"This is delicious. Where'd you get the mushrooms?" Christy finished the last one on her plate.

"A patient. But there are a few places nearby you can pick them. I'll show you sometime."

She nodded, "There's so much I need to learn."

"What?" he shook his head, "I've been fending for myself for years. I don't expect you to suddenly start doing it all – certainly not by yourself. You'll still have schoolwork, after all."

"But..." she wasn't sure exactly why this concerned her. She didn't want to let him down, for starters, but there were other considerations.

"We might do things a little differently from our neighbours. For a while, at least."

"Alright, but I do want to learn."

"You will. No hurry though." he leaned over and kissed her, "It's you that I want, everything else is just details."


End file.
